Does mum burnout exist?

My answer to that is yes! It definitely does exist and is not talked about enough. We often discuss burnout as a general term but forget that we as mothers can experience this too. However, I felt mum burnout was different from normal burnout as it’s like there’s no 'off button'. We feel we can not just have a break and if we did, we would feel the mum guilt. 

What is mum burnout?

Mums experiencing mum burnout often report feeling intense exhaustion and disengagement related to parenting, such as simply "going through the motions" rather than feeling present or engaged with their children's lives. If you are a new mum, this could also include feelings of overwhelm, increased levels of stress, and low mood. 

Being a mother of two under two, I felt I was constantly on the go and had more burnout with my second than my first. There would be times when I would wake up and feel tearful, overwhelmed, and extremely tired. I remember waking up one morning and thinking 'Is this postnatal depression?'. I didn't consider it could be burnout until I downloaded the Rūh mental well-being app and came across a meditation that explored mum burnout.

It was like, at that moment, a lightbulb had gone off in my head that made me realise, "Yes! That’s what I’m experiencing."

Signs of mum burnout

Some of the common signs of mum burnout are:

• Constantly feeling tired - even after having an average of seven hours of sleep, eating, exercising, and doing some self-care.
• Feelings of being overwhelmed and stressed - even the smallest of tasks can feel daunting or cause you to become anxious for no reason. 
• Cranky or yelling
• Low tolerance
• Agitation 
• Feelings of not being good enough.
• Having only negative interactions with your children - this is a tricky one as this may not be the case; however, it may feel like you are only focusing on the negative aspects of being a parent and may stop you from seeing the beauty and joys of motherhood.
• Wanting to escape. 
• Feelings of suffocation - this can often be associated with the feelings of being trapped. As a mother, it can be challenging to have time to yourself, and if you are experiencing burnout, that feeling of being trapped and suffocated can intensify. 

Tips on how to deal with mum burnout

The first step is to identify when you are experiencing burnout and become self-aware and attuned to your physical and emotional needs. As a mother, you are juggling many different things, such as working, doing household chores, and looking after your tiny humans who are dependent on you.

That’s why, within all the chaos, you need to look after yourself.

Once you have identified that you are experiencing burnout, some things that you can do that can help are:

1. Try to practice some self-care each day (even if it is just for 10-15 minutes every day).
2. Try and get outdoors more, whether that’s alone or with your children. Studies have shown that being outdoors can improve mental well-being. Being outdoors has helped me, even if it was just taking my little one to a class, as it allowed me to meet other mums. 
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from others when things are getting too much.
4. Talk to friends and family, as it can be easy to isolate ourselves. 
5. Keeping a gratitude journal can help with positive thinking and self-esteem.

There are many more things that you can try but remember, mummies, you’ve got this! 

How can counselling help?

Sometimes it can be too much, and you may need that extra support. That’s where counselling could be beneficial. Working with an experienced professional in a safe and non-judgemental space can be a great way to explore mum burnout and help you identify why you may be feeling a certain way and what can be a helpful skill or resource you can use.

Remember being a mum is a beautiful and rewarding journey, but it doesn’t come without challenges. You don’t need to do this alone. Reach out when you need it, and when your buckets are too full, don’t be afraid to empty them by using the resources around you.

If you can relate to what I’ve shared and would like some support, I’m here - visit my profile and get in touch to learn more.