Do you find it easy to say 'I feel angry'?

I feel angry.

If you do, it means a lot. It is emotionally healthy to be able to be relaxed and comfortable with what it means to be able to express and feel anger.

I feel angry.

These three words can mean different things to different people. An emotionally healthy definition could be "I am aware that within me the sensations of "anger" are currently happening to me here and now".

This definition introduces us to a deeper understanding of an emotionally healthy way of communicating the feeling of anger.

I feel angry.

Try it out. Remember the last time you felt anger or anything that approaches anger, like frustration or resentment. Remember the moment and allow awareness of what kinds of emotions and actions arose with the anger; confusion, blame, aggression, the desire to speaking out or an internal dialogue aimed at yourself. Did you feel the need for action, to strike out, or the action of repressing, or to flee? Did you feel the urge to withdraw, leave, run away, eat something, or use a substance? Chocolate, cheese, or alcohol? Were you left feeling calm and present, or unresolved and agitated? If the latter, I believe that it is possible to work towards achieving more comfortable ways of being with your anger.

For many people, there is a lot of confusion associated with dealing with their own angry feelings. Being uncomfortable in your own skin around anger is common, even normal.

Some people are comfortable saying these words; they simply have the knowledge that the sensations that they are feeling within their body are normal. They can identify them as being associated with their arising anger, and can express this simple fact. In owning these sensations, they free themselves from blaming others. This personal knowledge is the foundation of the essence of who you are. It is holistically healthy to know, understand, and be able to articulate the emotions that are moving within us. This ability promotes mental well-being and all-round health. It will contribute towards the sense of thriving and ultimately lead towards finding a fulfilling purpose in your life. Another helpful way to express these feelings sensations, if they indicate anger, could be; "I feel the sensations of anger arising within me, I feel angry".

Existing with anger

Through my own experience, curious reading about anger, relevant research and studies, I have discovered that learning new ways of being with anger exist and can lead to a dramatic transformation in well-being, relationships, and health. It can unlock a whole host of self-discoveries leading to calm and present centred ways of being.

When I use the word "angry", I am describing a feeling that ranges from mild agitation, increasing exponentially through to irritation, grumpiness, frustration, anger, and rage, even to an apoplectic state. It can be a small awareness, but in the extreme, it is a powerful sensation that can be hard to cope with. There is a tendency within most people to deny this feeling, so awareness is often suppressed, even buried within the subconscious. Most people dislike the word "angry" and would prefer to admit to something that sounds less dynamic, like; "I am sometimes... frustrated", for example.

Acknowledging and existing with anger is important; do get in touch with a counsellor if you need help with this.

Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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Written by Paul Roberts Counselling MBACP

I am a counsellor based in Somerset and specialise in all areas of counselling for young people, adults, couples and groups. I use my own unique and proven methods to help my clients, who have often come to a point where they need support and guidance. For more information see my profile where you will see contact details.… Read more

Written by Paul Roberts Counselling MBACP

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