Alex Vendittelli

As a gay man, I understand what it means to navigate belonging and identity, to adapt in ways that help you fit in, but sometimes cost you a sense of who you are. I welcome clients from all backgrounds and identities. What matters most is that you feel understood.

I work with individuals and couples to help them achieve meaningful change. Therapy with me is a conversation, and you don’t need to start with all the answers. I’ll ask about your life, your experiences, your past, and how you make sense of these.  

Together, we’ll figure out what's not working, where you want to be, and what might be getting in the way. We meet weekly and build a relationship that becomes the foundation for change and a deeper understanding of who you are.

Psychotherapy is a journey to explore parts of yourself which may have become hidden. Everyone is unique; I don’t offer step-by-step plans or manualised therapy such as CBT. Instead, we explore the patterns, beliefs, and emotional rules that quietly shape how you live and relate, to yourself and others. 

For couples:

Helping couples improve communication and move beyond unhealthy conflict.

Conversations are stuck, tensions are building, and closeness is being eroded. You feel frustrated, unheard, and confused. This tension might flare up quickly and erupt into arguments, or simmer away in extended punishing silences.

You long to reconnect with what brought you together in the first place, and to build something even more resilient and meaningful.

Frequent Reasons to Start Couples Therapy
Healthy relationships evolve through natural stages, and couples often get stuck navigating the transition from one stage to the next. This often shows up as:

• Communication breakdown
• Frequent and repeated arguments
• Intimacy issues
• Distance and isolation
• Betrayal and infidelity
• Conflict over finances

One partner might want things to stay as they were, the other may long for something different but struggle to put these feelings into words, without the other feeling rejected.

Couples therapy can help you take a step back, identify the patterns, understand the emotional triggers driving them, the significance to each partner, and why a seemingly insignificant issue for one person can be overwhelming for another.

We'll explore the deeper emotional patterns, unmet needs, and histories that may be shaping your current struggles. We’ll also look at how you communicate, how you protect yourselves, and how you might better support each other emotionally.

How to Begin
Get in touch to book an initial assessment session to explore your concerns in more depth. We can talk through some of the history of the relationship, the recurring conflicts and themes and what you would like to achieve in our work together. I typically see couples weekly and in-person.

Individuals: £85/session

Couples: £120/session.

Therapy for the LBGTQ+ communities

What to Look for When Choosing a Therapist :

Starting therapy is a meaningful and often vulnerable step, and finding the right therapist can make all the difference. While credentials and training matter, it’s equally important to feel safe, seen, and genuinely understood. For gay men, this often includes finding someone who gets the nuances of your experience without needing constant explanation. Here are a few things to consider as you begin your search:

1. A Sense of Connection That Feels Real

Therapy works best when you feel truly met, as a whole person. That doesn’t mean your therapist will share every aspect of your life or always agree with you, but that they create a space of openness, curiosity, and respect. For many gay and queer men, this might mean working with someone who understands the emotional terrain of coming out, navigating relationships, family dynamics, or the subtle impacts of growing up in a heteronormative world. Whether through shared identity or simply through deep empathy, the right therapist makes you feel less alone.

2. Shared Identity or Thoughtful Difference

You may be drawn to a therapist who is also gay, and for good reason, there can be deep comfort in not needing to explain certain aspects of your experience, from internalised homophobia to chosen family to dating apps. At the same time, a therapist of a different background can still offer powerful support, as long as they are genuinely open, informed, and committed to understanding your world without judgment. What matters most is whether the space feels inclusive, affirming, and safe to bring your full self.

3. A Style That Matches Your Needs

Therapists differ in how they work, some offer more structure and tools, others focus on exploration and insight. Ask yourself what feels most helpful right now: Are you looking for someone to help you process a breakup? Explore patterns in your relationships? Work through shame or anxiety? You can (and should) ask a potential therapist how they work and see if it aligns with what you’re looking for.

4. Credentials and Commitment

Your therapist should be professionally trained and registered with a recognised organisation, such as the BACP or UKCP. This ensures they adhere to ethical standards and are engaged in ongoing professional development, including education around identity, sexuality, culture, and intersectionality.

5. A Space Where You Don’t Have to Filter

Most importantly, therapy should be a space where you don’t have to edit, perform, or shrink parts of who you are. Whether you connect through shared experience or respectful difference, therapy should support your growth, not ask you to conform to someone else’s expectations. You deserve a space where your story, your identity, and your complexity are fully welcomed.