Happiness and how to get it
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Graeme Orr MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg. Ind. Counsellor
10th November, 20160 Comments
In a recent survey, most adults said that they would rather be very happy rather than very wealthy. Yet, most of us put our time and effort into wealth. Imagine what we could do if we put some of that focus on being happy. Many clients talk about wanting to be happier in their lives and relationships, perhaps to recapture past times or perhaps to gain something they feel they never had. Yet what do we need to do if we want to be happy. Can you give a concise definition of what would make your life happy?
One writer said, “happiness it is said is not a destination, but rather a journey.” This perhaps, reflects that happiness is dynamic. The happiness depending on whom and where you are in your life. Perhaps you derive happiness through service to others, while others gain happiness from experiences. So perhaps the first thing to know, if you want to be happy, is what happiness is already in your world.
Perhaps you are not sure, so the next great secret is to get out there and take action try things. These might be simple things like taking more time to notice what is going on around you in your relationships, in your family, in your environment etc. It may of course have a more concrete focus as you set out an action plan, such as trying an event or an occasion. It’s about doing what seems right, to tackle feelings and mood.
Perhaps we are at our happiest when we value what we are doing and value ourselves and so it’s worth noticing that the value you place upon yourself has a big impact on how you feel. One helpful quote states, “too many people undervalue what they are and overvalue what they are not” and this cautions us to notice what we do, not what we miss. It’s easy to be unhappy about the things we have not done or missed and fail to enjoy the other important moments. E.g. “I really wish we’d seen Elvis Presley in Concert but I remember meeting my husband dancing to Jailhouse Rock”. Notice and value the small things too.
Ultimately, being on a path of happiness and having a sense of self-worth, help to insulate you against many of life’s problems, yet it can be difficult to know how to rebuild or find that valuing process again. Support can often make a big difference and whether that is from a family member friend or counsellor, by making small changes in the way you think and value your experiences you too can change.
About the author
Graeme is a counsellor and author living and working on the south side of Glasgow. In his practice he sees a number of clients with emotional, anxiety and self-esteem that have relevance to us all. His articles are based on that experience and are offered as an opportunity to identify with, or to challenge you to make changes in your life.
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