Stop Asking Me: Unhealthy Patterns in Relationships

As part of a collection of creative work, I am hoping to demonstrate human emotional difficulties and where counselling can help.

This poem aims to reflect the unhealthy pattern that can happen in relationships when adults expect someone else to emotionally take care of them. This is often repeated in the counselling relationship.

Counselling is a journey of healing oneself in the presence of another, to mirror and support you. For many this may be the first healthy relationship they have ever experienced and it takes time to adjust to that and the process of acceptance of self.

Stop Asking Me!

I don’t know the answers, so please stop asking me,

I don’t know how to fix it, mend it, heal it

Or fulfil your expectations

I’m faulty, messy, complicated, wonderful

And imperfect; just like you

Perhaps just accept

It’s OK not to know.

To make mistakes and fall and fail sometimes

Just don’t give up; you will succeed

I believe you’ll find your way; your path, not mine

I can be a shoulder to cry on, a hug to bear, a love to light up your life

But please stop asking me for answers to questions you will not tell and expecting me to know.

Great as I am, we are equal, so stop giving away your power, or wanting me to give you mine.

I don’t know how to fix you and perhaps you shouldn’t try.

Just accept you as you are and me as who I am

So we can have space to breathe and I’m sure the rest will follow suit.

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