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Second in a series of books - 'Insecurity - it's all about me'

This second book helps you to understand the complexities and enabling ways to work with insecurity in our lives and our clients' lives. It focuses on helpful ways to work with and explore our insecurities, giving you an understanding of how insecurity impacts on our lives and what behavioural patterns then emerge from our natural insecure drive.

An extract from the book:

Insecurity - where does it originally come from? This may sound unrealistic to you, but I believe that when we are babies we are born into this world with inherent insecurity. Just imagine for a moment being in a small, comfortable, safe container feeling nice and relaxed, and from day one growing into this container which is always the right shape and size for you, with lots of cooing and soft noises. All your needs are being met, and you are content, warm and cosy. Having been in this environment for nine months or so, suddenly in one moment all that wonderful liquid which has natured you and kept you safe is drained away, for some time after that then you are squeezed, being pushed, propelled towards a wall of muscle over many minutes or hours, suddenly then you are ejected and squeezed through a small dark tunnel with lots of noise. Whilst being pushed and ejected you are hearing external noises more loudly for the first time, maybe hearing shouting and screaming; what confusion and terror you must feel as you arrive in this endless massive world? Full of blinding light with hands and arms grabbing and pulling you, whilst being prodded and poked.

This traumatic rollercoaster ride ceases for a moment before again your journey erratically continues with someone painfully hitting you till you breathe air into your lungs, which until then had been unused. You scream and then someone cuts off your only source of food and sustenance, the umbilical cord. Then you’re wrapped in a towel which is warm and soft and at last some resemblance of peace returns.

Now this is a normal birth, imagine the other scary things that might happen to the unnatural process of birth when it takes more time or has surgical intervention, just think how much more frightening and insecure that might be. Fortunately or unfortunately, babies cannot tell us this - we can only imagine. This will be only a fraction of the feelings a baby goes through during that birth process, as we can only perceive it from an adult perspective.

This fearful process, I would imagine, could be the most insecure fearful process we would ever encounter, and we start our life with this initial tremendous insecure shock. Is it surprising that babies are sometimes restless for a few days, weeks or even months after the birth?

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Written by Ian Wallace MBACP Reg

Ian is a specialist on human relationships, having over 9000 hours of face to face work over the last 15 years. He gets to the heart of the problem quickly and helps people to understand "why they do what they do". He Teaches and increases Counsellors skill base to work with the Couple dynamic in his extensive 7 day accredited workshops.… Read more

Written by Ian Wallace MBACP Reg

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