Love - The Secret Elixir?

Alchemy as some of you must know, was the ancient art of turning base or common metals and substances into gold. Ancient civilisations believed that the elusive substance, also called a universal solvent, would catalyse the components of metals and turn them into gold.

Similarly, there was a great search for the secret elixir of life- which would retain youth.

To date, no one has actually found either of these substances - the universal solvent or the secret elixir.

Maybe they were looking in the wrong place - a bit like looking all over the house for your keys but they were all the time in your pocket.

The somewhat simple and common key/universal solvent/secret elixir is Love (Lust, Desire, Acceptance (of the dark side of every person) and a bit of Humour. A good formula. Science has proven that falling in love and enjoying a joke releases chemicals and hormones  which can lead to a great sense of well being and enjoyment of life.

People in love eat less, have raging (positively) hormones and consequently look better. When they enjoy a joke, they look all the more attractive. Looking better causes an increase in confidence so it is a win-win cyclical situation,one feeding the other.There is some study which proves that people in love show similar brain activity to those who are mentally ill but some of us may agree that love can be quite an enjoyable illness.

Alongwith falling in love one has to be ready for remaining in love with a changing person.

A human is different from let's say, an inanimate object, like plastic. If you leave a plastic bag in the same place for years, you could go back and it would not have changed. One cannot say the same for a human. So love too ought not to be static. Love ought not to be divided from its opposite - hate. One gains value from the Other.

People have swung out of depression by falling in love. Better performance at work, increased motivation etc.

Many miracles and transformations have taken place quietly in loving and accepting relationships. People have left bad habits, achieved more and overcome impossible hurdles through the love and encouragement of their loved ones.

Couples who are married for years with a sort of lively marriage, not a dead habit, will tell you the secret is -living and letting live -challenging each other and going through ups and downs with a love that deepens over the years and not one which you return to the shop when it no longer quickens your pulse. 

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Written by Smita Rajput Kamble, Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist

I am a psychoanalytic psychotherapist practising in Milton Keynes for 20 years. I offer both-short term and open ended psychoanalytic psychotherapy. Psychotherapy varies with time and frequency. A long therapy can be stabilising and offer depth and emotional intimacy. But sometimes, short term work  is more suitable.
My trainings (Oxford and London) gave me a classical psychological u… Read more

Written by Smita Rajput Kamble, Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist

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