Why is it so difficult to sit with how I feel? When did this happen? Why haven't I noticed this before? What am I afraid of? These are some of the questions you may begin to ask yourself after another emotionless connection. However, how did you get here in the first place? It can be difficult to hear people describe you as cold, aloof and emotionless. Often hearing yourself being described in such a way can evoke feelings of anger, resentment, shame and even guilt. You may even begin to...
As people, we seem to live by the habits we form, and often these help to form structure in our daily lives. Habits do sometimes become dangerous, however, such as the addictive habits of using drugs, alcohol, food or gambling in response perhaps to life difficulties or to make yourself feel better. Habits like these are not easy to change. Think about your own lifestyle for a moment – I imagine there are things that you like doing when you get up in the morning, like having a cup of tea...
Even if you're not suffering from a full-blown physical addiction, it is not uncommon to use alcohol to deal with uncomfortable feelings and for some, this may tip into an emotional dependence. Wherever you are on the scale, it can be hard to resist the desire to drink, so here is a list of useful tips and suggestions (although it is by no means comprehensive), that may help if you are trying hard not to drink, but are finding that you want to. Make a plan It can help to have a plan for...
When tackling addictive behaviour, in my experience, therapy alone is not enough. Addiction is often a way of filling a gap in our lives. So we need to build a new life. Our addiction - drink, drugs, gambling - masks the distress our emptiness causes. At the same time, our addiction can also remove the cause. It does this by blurring our thought processes and allowing us not to think very much at all. Once we experience this we often want to experience it again and again. These feelings...
If you are reading this then I am guessing you would like to drink less.There is a big difference between alcohol use, abuse and addiction. It might be useful to think of it as a scale with use on one side, abuse or misuse in the centre and addiction on the other end of the scale. Take a few moments to think about where you sit within that scale and then identify where you would like to be. If you feel you are moving towards misuse or addiction – now is the time to take back some...
As most of us know, psychoactive substances are believed to be aphrodisiacs, but in reality they have damaging effects on all aspects of sexual function. The interrelationship of alcohol use and sexual activity is well established, but in reality it was not until the 1970's that alcoholism was universally recognised as a cause or contributor to sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction, inhibited sexual desire and anorgasmia. The contemporary western world has embraced a perspective, that...
Living with an alcoholic or problem drinker, either currently or in the past can mean we experience losses in many areas of our lives which stay with us over time. It is only by acknowledging, understanding and accepting these losses that we become able to move forward to a more fulfilling way of life. The losses experienced can range from a marriage falling short of our expectations, relationships with friends or family members that have broken down, financial hardship or even the loss of not...
Lancet Public Health journal has concluded that of 57,000 cases of early-onset dementia, 38 per cent were ‘directly related to alcohol’ and that 18 per cent had previous alcohol use disorders.
It added that patients with alcohol use disorders had a three times greater risk of developing all types of dementia.
The study was carried out using the French National Hospital Discharge database, which looked at more than a million people who received a dementia diagnosis between 2008 and...
For people who have struggled with addictions, going to a twelve step fellowship is a brave and potentially life changing decision. Alcoholics Anonymous and other twelve step fellowships offer a place where a person struggling with addictions or addictive behaviours can feel safe, be understood and start to understand both themselves and other people. The meetings and fellowship offer a great deal of support and the steps offer a programme of recovery which promise freedom from obsession and...
The hangover is over and you have almost forgotten how much you drank over the holidays. What you can't forget is how you felt afterwards. You told yourself, no you promised yourself, that this time it will be different; that you wouldn't get blindingly drunk and now you're back at work wanting to forget the whole thing. Possibly your new years resolution is to stop drinking. Then you think "I can cut down", then "only on occasions", resulting in "it wasn't that bad" and you can just...
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