When someone tells you negative things that other people have said about you, it's hard to think beyond the stinging words of what has been said. This can happen in every type of relationship, but for this article, I have used romantic relationships of any gender. Unhealthy relationships and isolation At the start of the relationship, these will generally be positive; “my friends think you are great” or “my mum thinks you are amazing”. This can come across as...
Now is the time of year many people are reassessing their partnerships or marriages. It may be that you have been together for some time and the same issues keep replaying, the same arguments keep breaking out. “What is happening? Why are we stuck in this loop? Why are we suddenly feeling such strong feelings and the other one is not hearing what I am saying? Or understanding what I am feeling?”. You as a couple may not want to break up - you may want a better understanding of what...
Compliment not complicate I want to talk about what is really possible, I want to talk about why we stay in the same place, same relationship problems, whether single or in a partnership, why do we not make a difference in our lives? We are all busy, kids, work, family, lots of distractions. I'm going to ask you to take a minute and just sit and be, now think about your intimate or lack of relationship/s, how is it? Is it good? Is it fun? What is missing from it? Are you fulfilled? Are you...
We are created to be loved, as love is based on the foundation of human existence, so be encouraged and assured that there is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship. Being in a relationship is exciting and enjoyable when you are with the right person. However, problems arise when you are afraid of being on your own, to the extent that you jump from one relationship to another to prevent having a relationship with yourself. There are many reasons which may influence you to desire a...
This hauntingly beautiful song by the Pogues has been my favourite Christmas song ever since I first heard it. I love it for many reasons, including its engagement of the darker side of Christmas and the pain and sorrow many people feel at this time of year. The song begins on “Christmas Eve, in the drunk-tank”. A man is under arrest (presumably for being drunk and disorderly). An older man says he won’t see another Christmas and sings “The Rare old Mountain Dew”....
In my opinion, our relationships can be thought about in three different categories. Firstly, our relationship with other people, secondly our relationship with the outside world we live in, its culture etc, and finally the relationship we have with ourselves. As we begin to look into these relationships we can think about the interactions that occur. Relationships are a two-way interaction and the flow from one to another can be balanced or unbalanced; what we give as opposed to what we...
Relationships require work; they are not all sunshine and roses. There will be bumps in the road within every relationship and with these hurdles come moments for you both to grow as individuals and develop the relationship. Without this, the relationship would remain juvenile and never become something that could last. Some issues can seem impossible to overcome, but couples counselling can create a safe environment where you are both encouraged to share sensitive information and reveal your...
The holiday season should be the time for couples to come together and express their love through romantic winter dates, present giving and meaningful time together as a family. If you’re struggling to communicate with your partner, however, and have been feeling unhappy in your relationship, the extra stress of Christmas can become too much, causing the underlying issues to flow over. It can be extremely challenging to manage your busy social calendar and the additional financial strain...
Some relationships are more difficult than others. We can all think of someone we know who requires a gargantuan effort to get along with and who leaves us feeling exhausted. Sometimes we can simply give these relationships up, because perhaps the person isn’t that significant to us and we decide that they’re really not worth it, but sometimes it’s not as easy as all that. What if that person is your boss? Your family member? Your co-worker that you must collaborate with...
When I was younger I was shocked when my GP friend told me that on Christmas Day his wife announced she’d been having an affair and was leaving him. Her timing struck me as heartless. Now that I’m a relationship therapist, I have a more balanced view. Come early January, the phones of couple counsellors are red-hot. Post-festive-holiday is a notoriously busy time as individuals seek to address, repair or end a troubled relationship. If I were being flippant, I’d say...
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