John Loewenthal

I am a relational and integrative psychotherapeutic counsellor. Through an empathic and analytical approach, I can help you to deal with life’s difficulties, to come to new realisations, and to arrive at new ways of being and relating. I am specialised in relational counselling and have experience across different therapeutic settings (NHS Talking Therapies, Relate, Thrive Together Psychotherapy, Cassel Associates). I work with people one-to-one and as couples and families (18+). My therapeutic work is informed by an extensive background of research and university teaching in the field of anthropology. I am attentive to how people’s lives are shaped by family, culture, psychology, and society, and to the difficulties that people face in love, work, life, and death. 

Relational therapy 

Relational therapy offers a sacred space to zoom into aspects of a relationship that warrant care, consideration, attention, and work. I will facilitate deep and sometimes difficult conversations, often addressing aspects of co-existence that may be awkward or seemingly impossible to explore in ordinary life. Relational therapy can be akin to joint therapy, building on the intimacy of a relationship by further sharing inner lives and biographies in the presence of one another. By doing so, people in partnership continue to learn about themselves and each other in symbiosis. Relational counselling enables hard topics to be discussed in a soft and sensitive way, with our conversations setting a standard for what can hopefully be sustained longer term. 

In some instances, our work will focus on a particular issue that seems difficult to overcome. This could be a traumatic episode, such as infidelity, a bereavement, a grievance, or a loss of identity. It could be a persistent dynamic like discrepant sexual desires, patterns of conflict, attitudes towards parenting, or social and cultural life, including friendships and in-laws. In other instances, there may be a more general or mysterious unhappiness, such as a treasured connection fading in its spark.

Relational therapy typically works on communication, exploring and establishing constructive forms of sharing and active listening. Accordingly, you will grow in knowledge, empathy, and respect for each other's needs, biographies, concerns, and sensitivities. Through reflective and sometimes challenging conversations, our therapeutic work can empower all parties with greater clarity about who you are, individually and collectively, and where you are going in life. 

In some cases, it may be better for people's long-term lives to make the difficult and painful decision to move apart. If this is on your mind, then our work together can provide a safe space to work through such questions and prospects. 

Working one-to-one 

I also work with people one-to-one, providing a supportive and stimulating relationship to help you address difficult aspects of life. I will actively listen to hear where you are coming from, and to tune into deeper concerns that may be underlying any feelings you are experiencing. I attend to each person's unique experience of the world, including anxieties, frustrations, senses of loss, isolation, being misunderstood, unhappiness, or searching for something more. I have helped people facing various challenges including inner states of anxiety and depression, family conflict, sexuality, social identity, life transitions, and existential questions. Issues I can help with include:

• Anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues
• Relationship difficulties and communication struggles
• Workplace fulfilment and career aspirations
• Family expectations and pressures
• Pursuits of meaning, purpose, and transcendence
• Existential boredom and a search for something more
• Questions of gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, migration, identity and belonging
• Intergenerational relationships and responsibilities
• Ageing, loss, and life transitions

Anthropology

Further to my counselling qualifications, I hold a BA (Oxon) (First), MA, and PhD in the field of anthropology, the study of what it is to be a human being within society. Anthropology deeply informs my therapeutic practice, considering both the philosophical conundrums of the human condition and the social and cultural conditions in which people live. My doctoral research investigated the aspirations of university graduates, exploring what makes life meaningful for people and how life choices are caught up in relational influences and constraints.

Three days per week, I work at the Centre for Anthropology and Mental Health Research in Action at SOAS University of London, where I am also a Research Associate. At the University of Oxford, I am a Departmental Tutor at the Department for Continuing Education. I have designed and teach the following courses that are directly connected to my therapeutic practice: ‘What makes life meaningful? Perspectives from anthropology' and  ‘Therapy as anthropology: engagements with the human condition’: https://www.anthro.ox.ac.uk/people/dr-john-loewenthal

Integrative modality and existential perspectives

My therapeutic approach is theoretically integrative. I draw variously upon different theories, though I am mostly interested in you and what you have to say. In this sense, my foundational way of working is 'person-centred', aligned with humanistic psychotherapy, whereby I follow your lead and try to facilitate your flourishing through an empathic and nurturing relationship. Nonetheless, I am also provocative in how I work. I will challenge you and pose questions to open up new perspectives, including possible blind spots, repression, unconscious processes, and recognition of how we may be experienced differently by others. I draw on psychodynamic perspectives on the unconscious and how our personalities are shaped by earlier relationships and experiences in ways that may not always be apparent. Occasionally, I draw on cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), which identifies and challenges unhelpful thought patterns and beliefs that may adversely affect how we experience and perceive the world. 

Therapeutically, I continually explore the existential question, as put by Amartya Sen: 'ultimately, the focus has to be on what life we lead and what we can and cannot do, can and cannot be'. Existential approaches to therapy give centre stage to the possibilities, delights, horrors, boredoms, frustrations, and contradictions of our finite existence. Life can be magical and full of wonder, and yet also brutish, weird, and short. We can often feel stuck and weighed down by either too many choices or what appears to be too few. Therapeutically, I can help you to unpack and explore your existential concerns, including questions of freedom, commitment, responsibility, authenticity, identity, belonging, development, death, and growth.

Experience

I work therapeutically with people of diverse backgrounds, identities, ages, ethnicities, and sexualities. I grew up in London and have lived in different countries (England, Scotland, the USA, Mexico), plus spent extensive periods in others (India, Nepal, Germany, France, South Africa, Brazil). I speak intermediate French and fluent Spanish. I am married in an international, interlingual relationship. 

I have supported people individually and as couples and families through private work and the following: NHS Talking Therapies, Cassel Associates, Relate,  Caya Therapy, The South London Therapy Group, The Awareness Centre, Relationships MK, and Thrive Together Psychotherapy. I engage in regular clinical supervision (at least three times per month), during which I reflect on my ways of working and seek to continuously improve and offer the best help that I can. 

Availability 

I see people for therapy in London Bridge/Borough/online on Thursday afternoons/evenings, Peckham/East Dulwich/online on Friday mornings and Sunday afternoon/evenings, and some other ad hoc availabilities. 

I am a registered member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (MBACP), and I abide by their ethical framework.

Please reach out for a free telephone consultation. 

• I offer concession rates for people in different circumstances that make payment difficult; please enquire if you would like to be considered.