Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Smita Rajput Kamble, Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist
10th January, 2011
Yin and yang, man and woman, black and white, light and darkness.....no opposite can exist without the other.
When couples fall in love, when it is their opposition that is fascinating...sex and passion is not far away. It is present and overwhelming. The long term good effects of the attraction of opposites is when they can voice differences which, however unpalatable to the other, becomes an expansion in the personality and understanding of the other person- an expansion in their deeply held views and their limited understanding of the world. A creativity that springs from a deep acceptance of difference. To sum it up, people gain more depth and personality when they allow themselves to create more space for the other person to be and the other person returns the gesture.
However, when that generously given space is used in a parasitic way- i.e. the other invades and takes over rather than share in a mutual understanding, opposites lose the balance that makes their relationship healthy. The scale becomes lopsided, the see saw weighs heavily on one side.
The best couples can allow arguments and quarrels and the love and passion that can grow from this combustion.
Related articles from our experts
Amanda Perl MSc Psychotherapist Counsellor MBPsS BACP (Accred) CBT PractitionerMay 12th, 2018
Pam Custers SW19 MA Pg/Dip (RELATE) Accredited MBACPMay 2nd, 2018
Step1Counselling. Isabel Fulcher Registered MBACPMay 2nd, 2018
Keeley Townsend BA (Hons), Ad.Dip.CP with Distinction, MNCS (Acc)December 14th, 2009
Imi Lo: Specialist Psychotherapist, Art Therapist & CoachMarch 29th, 2015
Andrea Harrn Psychotherapist and Author of The Mood CardsMay 13th, 2011
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.