Opposites attract

Yin and yang, man and woman, black and white, light and darkness.....no opposite can exist without the other. 

When couples fall in love, when it is their opposition that is fascinating...sex and passion is not far away. It is present and overwhelming. The long term good effects of the attraction of opposites is when they can voice differences which, however unpalatable to the other, becomes an expansion in the personality and understanding of the other person- an expansion in their deeply held views and their limited understanding of the world. A creativity that springs from a deep acceptance of difference. To sum it up, people gain more depth and personality when they allow themselves to create more space for the other person to be and the other person returns the gesture.

However, when that generously given space is used in a parasitic way- i.e. the other invades and takes over rather than share in a mutual understanding, opposites lose the balance that makes their relationship healthy. The  scale becomes lopsided, the see saw weighs heavily on one side.

The best couples can allow arguments and quarrels and the love and passion that can grow from this combustion.

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Written by Smita Rajput Kamble, Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist

I am a psychoanalytic psychotherapist practising in Milton Keynes for 20 years. I offer both-short term and open ended psychoanalytic psychotherapy. Psychotherapy varies with time and frequency. A long therapy can be stabilising and offer depth and emotional intimacy. But sometimes, short term work  is more suitable.
My trainings (Oxford and London) gave me a classical psychological un… Read more

Written by Smita Rajput Kamble, Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist

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