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How to keep it together when you want to fall apart

The hidden victims of domestic violence

As we all know, life isn’t always plain sailing. And when those waves come, they often knock us sideways. Whether you are dealing with an illness, a marriage ending, a business failing or even the death of a loved one, it can be easy to want to fall apart.

Of course, there are moments when we need to give in to these feelings and simply feel the pain. But when your world is appearing to crumble around you, it is important to keep yourself intact. The following tips can help you do just that:

Narrow your focus

When we are dealing with emotional turmoil, even the simplest of tasks can feel complicated. Try to combat this by focusing on the present. Take each day as it comes and prioritise tasks for the day – what must get done? What can wait? If you are worrying about a situation, consider whether or not you have the power to change it. If you do, take action – if not, accept that it is out of your hands.

Talk to someone

When we bury our emotions we quickly become overwhelmed and isolated. Challenge this instinct by speaking to a trusted friend, family member or counsellor about your feelings. Sharing your feelings will help to release pressure build-up and may offer a new perspective on the situation you are in. Even if the person you’re speaking to is unable to offer advice, just the act of voicing your concerns will help you to feel more connected.

Take your own advice

We are often our own worst critics, which means we can be overly harsh with ourselves and have unrealistic standards. Try to think what you would say if a friend of yours was going through the same situation as you, then follow this advice yourself.

Find cathartic release

When we are dealing with an emotional crisis, we can feel disempowered and voiceless. You may feel as if you have to put on a brave face at work and suppress your feelings in public. During these times, breathe deeply and try to keep your mind on the job at hand. In private however, don’t be afraid to feel the full weight of your feelings. Scream into a pillow, write in a journal or dance it out in your kitchen – whatever it takes to get the negativity out. If you feel yourself wanting to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms however, be sure to seek professional help.

Keep functioning

Get showered and dressed every day. Eat regular meals and set yourself a small goal to achieve every day. While you may feel like hiding under your duvet for weeks on end, it is important to stay connected to the real world. Completing a task, no matter how small, will also help to give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment.

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Katherine Nicholls

Written by Katherine Nicholls

Kat is a Content Producer for Memiah and writer for Counselling Directory and Happiful magazine.

Written by Katherine Nicholls

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