Therapy for life, loss, and self-discovery

Many of us reach moments in life where we pause to ask deeper questions about purpose, loss, and what it truly means to feel alive.

The search for meaning and aliveness

Recently, I’ve been watching a series of documentaries on base jumping with my 12-year-old. His excitement for the sport filled me with a quiet sense of fear for his future. Yet as I watched, I found myself captivated too, drawn to the community’s energy, courage, and profound sense of aliveness.

This led me to wonder what lies beneath that fascination that we both felt. For many of us, the appeal of something so intense speaks to a universal human longing: the search for meaning and purpose. We all want to feel alive – to experience something that gives life depth, significance, and focus. For some, this comes through stillness or reflection - a more meditative approach; while for others, it is in the exhilaration of movement and risk. Both approaches can bring a sense of connection, belonging, and meaning.

Aliveness, spirituality, and the role of risk

For some people, these moments of heightened aliveness can take on a spiritual quality. Activities like base jumping or mountain climbing – as well as less risky activities such as yoga, music, or creative expression – can bring us closer to something larger than ourselves, something that we might struggle to otherwise touch in our everyday lives.

In a world where traditional religion plays a smaller role for many of us, these experiences can fill that spiritual space. They can provide a sense of transcendence, purpose, or connection with something greater than ourselves. They remind us of what it feels like to be fully here, fully human.

I also find myself wondering how many of those drawn to such intensity or risky activities identify with ADHD or autism. For some neurodivergent individuals, these moments of deep hyperfocus, immersion, or adrenaline can offer a framework that can help make sense of the world – a way to organise restless energy, or to connect with experiences of clarity and vitality that can otherwise feel elusive. Such activities can also provide a sense of belonging within a small and specialist community of like-minded individuals.

Yet, within these moments of intensity lies an awareness of fragility. The base jumping community, for example, exists in close proximity to death. All know – or know of – someone who has been seriously injured or lost their life through the sport. I initially wanted to label this irony – the aliveness of the sport coexisting daily alongside death – but perhaps it isn’t ironic at all. Perhaps it is precisely through recognising the reality of death that we learn to value life more deeply. When we truly acknowledge our mortality, we often become more present, more grateful, and more attuned to what truly matters.

Living alongside loss

Death and loss are not abstract ideas for me. I lost two grandparents around the age of six or seven, and the other two in my early teens. Over time, with many more close to me passing over, I’ve had to learn how to live alongside loss – to understand it not as an interruption to life, but as part of its landscape. 

As I write this in early November, I’m reminded of All Souls’ Day – a day from my Catholic upbringing that honours remembrance of those who have passed, and reflection on the meaning of their lives. Even though my relationship to religion has evolved, this time of year still draws me inward. It reminds me of how reflection on death and loss can also be an act of connection – a way of staying close to what gives life its meaning.

The existential and spiritual in therapy

Many people come to therapy during times when questions of meaning, mortality, or spirituality begin to surface. You might find yourself wondering, "What truly matters to me?" or "Why do I feel so disconnected from my life?"

Therapy offers a safe, non-judgmental space to explore these questions and to help you reconnect with a deeper sense of purpose and belonging. Sometimes, therapy becomes the space where we rediscover what feels sacred - even if we no longer use that word.

Finding support in your search for meaning

If you’re feeling lost, questioning your direction, or searching for a renewed sense of aliveness, therapy can help you explore these deeper layers of experience. Together, we can look at what gives your life meaning, how to make sense of loss, and how to reconnect with the parts of yourself that feel most vital and real.

You don’t have to navigate these questions alone. Speaking to a therapist can be the first step toward understanding not just how to live, but how to feel alive.