10 ways to manage anxiety before a dental appointment

So you’ve got a dental appointment. It’s not due for a few days, but you’re already worrying about it and imagining it; your body is reacting to those thoughts and feelings.

You’ve got uncomfortable sensations about things which aren’t happening and may not happen. You may have conflicting feelings, given the info about dental deserts, like, “Here I am stressed to the hilt, when I should be grateful I have a dentist at all.”

I’m a blind psychotherapeutic counsellor. Personally, and professionally, I know that having a disability can turn the volume up on the fear soundtrack. But what if you could practise feeling more comfortable at the dentist before you even get there?

If the mere thought of a dental visit puts you on edge, here are 10 practical tips: simple at-home experiments to help make those sensations a little easier.

1. Practise opening your mouth

Open your mouth comfortably, hold it open for a few seconds, then relax. You can gradually increase the amount you open your mouth, or the length of time it’s open.

Take it slowly and increase gradually, over days, weeks, or months. For instance, you could try 5 seconds, then maybe 10, then 15. If these increments are too big, try 3 seconds, 5, 7, etc. You don't need to push yourself and feel massive discomfort too quickly; the idea is to get your brain and body used to the sensation of having your mouth open.

Any anxiety? Tension? That’s ok. You’re not trying to get rid of it or be cool, calm and collected. You’re practising being comfortable with discomfort.

2. Practise breathing through your nose

When we’re at the dentist, we don’t have easy access to breathing through our mouth, with fingers and instruments taking up space.

At home, practise gently breathing through your nose for a few seconds, then relax and breathe normally again. If you feel you can, try combining opening your mouth comfortably with breathing through your nose.

Again, do this for a few seconds, increasing in small bits over time. 

These are different sensations from normal life, and you’re teaching your body to get used to them, and that these sensations on their own aren’t dangerous. If you become too uncomfortable beyond tolerable levels, stop. Try again another time. This isn’t a test. 

3. Practise taking pauses

Another idea to practise is pausing. Try opening your mouth briefly, closing it, and relaxing your jaw; repeat. You're teaching yourself that opening your mouth doesn't mean you're stuck in that position indefinitely.

4. Notice tension in your jaw

Many of us unconsciously clench our teeth or hold tension in our jaw.

Throughout the day, notice the difference between clenching and allowing your jaw to hang comfortably. The aim is to become familiar with not holding tension there, rather than trying to achieve utter relaxation.

5. Notice tension in your tongue

Anxiety can be mean and horrible, making us keenly aware of where our tongue is, in relation to the rest of our mouth.

If you find yourself holding your tongue rigidly before or during dental visits, spend a bit of time at home noticing where your tongue rests comfortably. It can make potential sensations during dental visits less unfamiliar if you combine relaxing your tongue with breathing through your nose and possibly opening your mouth gently.

No self-bashing will be tolerated. If any of this goes beyond your tolerance limits, stop. 

6. Become familiar with sensations around your mouth

Explore using a toothbrush, your own fingers, or something that’s familiar and safe to have near or in your mouth. Hold whatever you’ve picked near your mouth for a few seconds, stop, and relax.

Over time, you can decrease the distance from your mouth until you can rest the object on your lips, then just inside your mouth. After getting used to this, try combining an open mouth with this tip.

This idea’s useful if you know your anxiety is triggered by dental instruments being near, or in, your mouth. I sound like a broken record, but take this slowly and be kind to yourself.

7. Notice your anxiety response

This one doesn’t involve your mouth at all. Think briefly about going to the dentist; notice what happens. Perhaps your shoulders tense, your stomach tightens, you feel ill, or you notice thoughts like, “I really don't want to do this.”

Rather than trying to get rid of those feelings, see if you can simply notice. You might say to yourself: “My body is having an anxiety response. I don't have to do anything about it right now.” The aim isn't to make the anxiety disappear; you're practising having an anxious feeling without automatically treating it as a sign you need to escape. 

8. Decide how you'll respond to anxiety

Decide before the dentistry visit what you will do if anxiety rises. Rather than promising, or ordering, yourself not to be anxious, decide on a response.

It might mean reassuring yourself you can get through this, or breathing slowly and calmly during treatment. Maybe giving yourself permission to feel however you feel at the time, leading me to my next idea.

9. Give yourself permission to feel anxious

Whatever you feel, it’s ok to feel it. Bashing yourself for feeling scared or anxious before dental visits wastes energy. You’re a human; you have feelings.

Think about what you’re being asked to do at the dentist. You have to keep your mouth open, sometimes for ages. There are unusual sights, sounds, smells and tastes, and it’s understandable to feel unsettled and/or overwhelmed beforehand. 

10. Try a ‘treat sandwich’

It’s worth using a technique I call ‘treat sandwich’, where you do something pleasant immediately before and after something you don’t want to do.

The something before puts you in a half-decent mindset so you’re not feeling terrible when tackling an open mouth experiment, relaxed jaw, or exploring tension-inducing thoughts and feelings.

The something after means you’ve got something to look forward to afterwards.

When dental anxiety feels difficult to manage

These are just some ideas to play with, on your own, before a dentistry visit. You don’t have to use all or any of them if you don’t want to. Try them, see how you feel, and be kind to yourself. You may notice uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and disturbing memories hiding behind today’s fears, and that’s ok too.

I had, and still have, horrible memories when it comes to dentistry, and I got therapeutic help for it. There’s nothing wrong with being fearful or anxious about something like dentistry when it’s an unusual set of circumstances to find yourself in in the first place.

If anxiety about going to the dentist feels overwhelming, stops you from attending appointments, or is connected to difficult experiences from the past, talking to a counsellor or therapist can give you space to explore where the fear comes from and find ways of managing it that feel right for you.

You might also find it helpful to let your dentist or dental team know that you’re feeling anxious. Talking about what you find difficult and what might help you feel more comfortable can make the appointment feel more manageable.

Look after yourself.