7 wellbeing tips for stressed and overwhelmed mums

Looking after your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical wellbeing is important for anyone. It's especially important when you're a mum looking after small people and being the epicentre of everyone's world day in, day out.

As a woman-centred counsellor and psychotherapist, I support women at all stages in their motherhood journey in my private practice, and some of the common feelings that come up in the therapy room time and time again are mums struggling with stress, anxiety, overwhelm, low mood and relationship challenges. 

All these challenges are usually underpinned by unmet needs. Many mums have unmet needs around clearer boundaries, practical or emotional support, taking time out, resting rather than constantly doing, sharing the mental load, and much more. When we identify these needs and take steps to address them, there can be some relief and an improvement in how we feel.

I've reflected on my own personal and professional experience, and come up with some top tips and quick boosts for stressed-out mums that have worked for my clients and me. These are by no means an exhaustive list, but simply some ways to boost your emotional wellbeing.

Ways to find more mental clarity

Get ahead of the game with evening planning

Getting ready for the day ahead the night before can save you from the overwhelm, stress and scramble in the morning. It can be super helpful to spend a few minutes each evening getting organised for the next day. Some typical things that can save you a lot of stress in the morning include laying out outfits, packing bags, planning lunches, and writing yourself notes to reduce early-morning mayhem and improve mental clarity.

Reduce the overwhelm by sharing the mental load

A great tip I've picked up from one of my clients is to use WhatsApp to reduce the mental load. Set up separate chats with your partner/family members for different areas of life, e.g., household tasks, childcare, shopping, and finances, and use these channels to note down to-dos and action items for each category.

This is a simple and practical way to share the administrative mental load of managing day-to-day life as a family, so it's not all resting on you all the time.

Clear brain fog with daily breathwork 

Taking some time out each day to do some simple breathwork exercises can do wonders for your mental clarity and physical wellbeing.

Box breathing (counting in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4) is a go-to I recommend to many of the mums I work with and support through my therapy practice. The beauty of simple breathwork is that you can do it anywhere, any place, any time. 

Simple ways to support your everyday wellbeing

Set yourself up for the day with gentle morning and evening sun exposure

Open your curtains and soak up the morning light upon waking and again in the evening. Research shows that this regulates your circadian rhythms, boosts vitamin D levels, and contributes to a calmer, better-regulated nervous system.

Depending on how old your children are and how broken your sleep is at night, this can be a real game-changer for resetting your nervous system for the day ahead.

Boost your energy with cold showers or sea dips

Channel your inner Wim Hof with short 20-second cold blasts of water (sea dips, showers, whatever works for you) that can shock your mitochondrial function and boost energy levels throughout the day, potentially leading to improved wellbeing.

As a mum, taking some time out for yourself and tending to your physical wellbeing can be tricky, so this can be a simple, energising way to get your blood flowing again.

Ways to feel more emotionally connected

Reconnect with a 20-second hug with your partner

Research shows that hugging for an extended period creates emotional safety, fostering connection and relational depth that improve your relationship satisfaction and overall wellbeing. When we enter motherhood, our intimate relationship is often the one that suffers, so this is a simple way of reconnecting with your partner on a daily basis.

Reflect on your day with the 'roses and thorns' reflection

A reflective exercise in which family members share the "roses" (good moments) or positive experiences of the day and "thorns" (challenges of the day) as a way of boosting connection and building resilience. This can be particularly helpful as we navigate changes in routine and helps us to process new experiences and see the glimmers in the everyday, even when things feel tough.

Establish a Wednesday Waffles connection with friends

This is a brilliant initiative that aims to deepen friendships by sending two minutes of unfiltered video chat of yourself speaking to camera to your friend/s via WhatsApp every Wednesday, as a way to authentically connect and share your life and feelings with your nearest and dearest. My group of friends and I have found this to be grounding, healing, and helpful for staying in touch. Highly recommend. 

All these suggestions are intended to be fun, quick boosts to improve your wellbeing. They are not long-term strategies for managing mental health issues. If you are seeking support, then searching for your own personal counsellor or psychotherapist via Counselling Directory is a great place to start.

As a busy mum juggling a lot day-to-day, I find it challenging to carve out the time and space to look after myself, but it truly is the greatest gift you can give to your family and, importantly, to your children.

By role modelling skills such as how to rest, how to set boundaries for yourself, and how to prioritise your own needs, you are demonstrating these important skills to your children so they can protect their emotional wellbeing in years to come.