Lanka Templeman BSc(Hons) PGdip
24 Liverpool Gardens
My approach to counselling
A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.”
― Bruce Lee
Counselling is not like taking a tablet for a headache and there are no guaranteed outcomes. What you will be invited to do with your counsellor involves forming a reliable and trusting relationship where you will be able to put down your baggage, open it up and have a good look at what you are carrying. After that you will be able to unpack it, sort through it, let go of some things and re-pack the rest into something manageable.
What happens in counselling and what’s the point?
- Put most simply, during counselling you and I will sit down in a quiet room in a couple of chairs facing each other. Weekly meetings for 50 minutes are recommended.
Reason – There needs to be a safe space with no distractions. You need enough time to explore issues but not so much that you get exhausted. Consistent shared experience establishes a relationship more effectively. The meetings need to be far apart enough for you to have time to reflect on what you have shared but close enough so that you don’t forget what comes up for you.
- You will talk and I will listen. As you talk about yourself, you will get to hear your own thoughts and feelings out loud and as you do that, you will get to know yourself better and I will to get to know you too.
Reason – I will need to know what your life is really like for you, from your perspective not anyone else’s. While I’m doing that, you will get to share your true experience of your life without anyone telling you what should or shouldn’t happen in it.
- I will ask you questions about your life, this may be about thoughts, opinions or feelings, it may be about your past or the people in your life.
Reason – To discover how you do what you do and why. My questions may be to clarify something I don’t understand or sometimes to get you to think in more detail about how you arrived at a thought, opinion or feeling.
- I will not tell you what to do, how to fix your problems or give my views on your decisions, thoughts, feelings or opinions.
Reason – I may have some opinions about you and your life; so may a lot of other people and they are usually happy to share these with you. However, counselling is a space to work out your own stuff and to get comfortable and confident about taking responsibility for yourself, your thoughts and your actions and making your own decisions.
But – I will always be honest with you sometimes that may mean breaking the above rule if necessary and for your benefit.
- I recommend coming for between 6 to 18 months as a very general rule.
Reason – Change is hard and takes time. Therapy is about changing something in your life that isn’t working for you, as well as supporting you through that change. Experiences such as anxiety and depression might, and usually do, start to fade as you work with your therapist but therapy is most effective when the symptoms aren’t so severe. That way you have more mental work-space to think clearly about how your decisions affect you and your life. So, though it is tempting to stop as soon as you feel better, often the most effective work is done just after that.
- Therapy is not forever but, returning does not mean going backwards.
Reason – Self-discovery is an ongoing process and there are many ways to continue the journey. Therapy will help you discover the resources and obstacles within yourself so you can continue on your own. However, life throws up all sorts of challenges and getting help when that happens is useful
“People were always saying that talking things out would help but I didn’t know until I had counselling that it wasn’t just saying things out loud, it was how I was listened to. She [the counsellor] didn’t judge me, she didn’t get upset about what I was saying. After a while I could listen to myself not just what other people thought. Before [counselling] I would never have believed what a difference that would make.”
"Thank-you so much for your help. You are very good at your job."
Why you might come
- You are going around in circles in your life, in your head or both.
- You have feelings that you are finding difficult to cope with, such as anxiety, anger, stress, depression or loss.
- You have a specific problem you want to deal with, such as a difficult decision to make, issues with someone in your life, an inner conflict, obsessive thoughts, lack of confidence or addiction.
- You have come to feel like your life lacks, or has lost, meaning.
- You feel as though you don’t know who you are anymore.
- You want change but don’t know how to make it happen.
Counselling will take a commitment of your time and money so, it is always worth considering whether it is the right time for you. I offer an initial session at reduced cost so we can meet, see how we get along and, decide how you would like to proceed.
There are also some useful articles on this website that can help you decide.
If you are ready, I can help.
Training, qualifications & experience
I hold a degree in Psychology, a Certificate in counselling skills and a Post Graduate Diploma In Person Centred/Existential Counselling.
Before starting private practice, I worked as a student counsellor for London Metropolitan University, and a staff counsellor at Mayday Hospital. I currently work for Carers Support West Sussex as a volunteer counsellor and a paid assessor.
I am a member of the BACP and am guided by and adhere, to their guidelines for ethical practice
which can be found here - http://www.bacp.co.uk/ethical_framework.
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Affairs and betrayals
- Anger management
- Attachment disorder
- Carer support
- Child related issues
- Domestic violence
- Emotional abuse
- Family issues
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Low self-confidence
- Low self-esteem
- Panic disorder
- Passive aggressive behaviour
- Physical abuse
- Pregnancy and birth
Other areas of counselling I deal with
Areas of speciality –
Carers - I have supported many carers with the realities of caring for another person on a regular basis.
Bereavement – I have extensive experience with loss and a particular interest in supporting people through this experience.
Anxiety – I have supported many people through discovering what triggers their anxiety and dealing with the everyday experience of the difficulties anxiety can bring.
First session is £20 payable in cash at the end of the session.
Daytime Appointments £40 (9.30am – 5pm)
Evening appointments £45 (5pm – 8.30pm)
Weekend appointments £50
Students of counselling £35 per session
I do keep a few concessionary spaces, I am always happy to discuss them so please ask if you would like to be offered one of these.
Payment is usually made at the end of each session by cash or cheque but can also be paid by bank transfer at the end of each month.
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
Daytime and evening apointments are available. Earliest appointment 9.30am and last appointment at 7.30pm
Types of client
|Employee Assistance Programme|