The valuing approach
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Benjamin Isaacs
2nd December, 20160 Comments
This may be stating the obvious, but one of the most effective pathways into recovery from a string of therapeutic presentations is working on emotionally/psychologically building yourself up. There are many great psychological ideas and intellectual models that can help in understanding the human condition. That aside, documented evidence shows that the most effective approach to eliciting healing is to nurture genuinely compassionate human exchanges. Regardless of what you have gone through and experienced, finding some subjective meaning and value in your story can transform your recovery into a healing opportunity.
Yes, waaaay!! There is value in abuse...
A great deal of sensitivity, patience, compassion and warmth is needed when working with a survivor of physical or sexual abuse. It is necessary to allow the space to support the person to take the lead in a way that will therapeutically empower them to move out of victim-hood and adopt a more assertive position. Therapists tend to support a person to move away from trying to understand the drive of the perpetrator, and instead support them to explore and recover from the trauma they experienced. The value of being heard and not judged is a powerful element in recovery, and it also aids the release of the shame that often blocks the secret from being told. There is also value in what the person accessed internally to survive the ordeal. The courage to speak up and have a voice is to be valued and reaffirmed in the work.
The world is against me I am broken worth nothing.
Make no sense to me why I always stubble into something.
I am suffering hurt my existence has no purpose.
I don’t matter deep inside is a mess I am worthless…"
Feel Supported Poets 2016
The ‘I matter’ principle is something I coined in my work with vulnerable adults, who have experienced being pushed around in the mental health system and internalised a feeling of worthlessness. ‘I matter’ is an energetic principle that embodies worth and value - by working with this principle in the therapy, shifts and healing can occur. The polar opposite position of ‘I matter’ is ‘I don’t matter’,which is often internalised by individuals. This position tends to create difficulty in recovering from abuse, depression, anxiety and many other complaints. Building up their unique qualities and supplementing them with the ‘I matter’ principle will enable a person to develop the emotional and psychological parts of themselves, needed to better manage their mental health and well-being.
About the author
I am an accredited psychotherapist that specialises in anxiety, depression, stress and work related stress. At We Clinic London, we offer a holistic experience that meets the whole person. I bring over 10 years experience to the field.
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