Moving on...new thoughts for a new year.
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Jan Brand MNCS (Acc) Counsellor, Supervisor, Life, Business & Executive Coach
8th January, 20130 Comments
It’s a fresh new year. A time to look forward and to anticipate what lies ahead. You might be dreaming of a great holiday, or maybe your focus is on spending more time with friends and family, getting a better job or simply watching your team win the cup!
But hold on a moment…are you actually still bogged down in the past? Worse still, are you blaming yourself for things that have gone wrong in the past? Many of us do it, but maybe now is the time to understand your past and to remember that it was created not just by you but by people, patterns and situations.
Ask yourself; “was I really the only person involved”? Then, consider how other people contributed to the outcome. There will, of course, have been times when you were indeed at fault. Try to stand back as an outsider would and consider your actions. By understanding your patterns, and possibly your self-destructive habits and behaviours, you will be able to start to make changes. Work at letting go of the past and leaving it behind. Understand that carrying around anger and bitterness - whether directed at you or others - only burdens you. Try accepting your past and the people who were part of it on the basis that it is over. If you let it go, you can move forward unburdened to a new and exciting future.
Every time something happens that annoys you or reminds you of the past, tell yourself “it could have been worse”. Let go of past mistakes by telling yourself they were lessons that had to be learned. What matters is not to repeat them.
Helping others will help you. If your past still threatens to dominate your thoughts and is making you feel down or depressed, try doing something to make someone else’s day better. It won’t just help to make the world a better place; it will also help you to feel better. Try simply smiling at people and then enjoy the warmth of their returning smiles. Recall the good times in your life whilst letting go of the bad ones.
Look not to the past but to the future; set yourself new goals and develop a project plan to achieve them. The goals can be business or personal ones (or both), but try to choose things that you really want to achieve or experience.
Beyond all else, believe in yourself and your role in life - and have fun! The only time that really matters is NOW. The past is gone and the future is yet to come and it is pointless to dwell on them. What you can do with all that valuable time is live right now, in the present. Forget thinking – just live!
Related articles from our experts
Dr Kornilia Givissi, Counselling Psychologist (HCPC Reg, DCounsPsy)March 16th, 2017
Matt Fox - Psychosynthesis Counsellor MBACPMarch 5th, 2017
Andrea Harrn Psychotherapist and Author of The Mood CardsMay 13th, 2011
Imi Lo: Psychotherapist, Art Therapist, Supervisor (MMH,UKCP,HCPC,MBPsS)March 29th, 2015
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.