Love is a Many Splendoured Thing
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Michael Alexander, Dip.Couns., BSc, MBACP
20th April, 20110 Comments
We all at some time in our lives fall romantically in love. What attracted us to our beloved in the first place? Looks, build, sensuality are just some of the attributes that are folded into whosoever we are in love with.
The consequences of falling in love are manifold but for some it is a truly painful process. In many ways it can become an obsession, an addiction and certainly a difficult experience to live through.
Some individuals have been through early life experiences that have determined a particular predisposition, essentially not being able to let go of their loved one. When a relationship ends these individuals suffer greatly from being 'abandoned' and their focus becomes the person who left them. Depression, anxiety and even thoughts about ending their lives are common place symptoms of what is known as love addiction.
One theory is that the predisposition is related to their personality structure, such love addicts are destined to be attracted to what are called avoidant personalities. The gravity between these two personalities is strong and irresistible.
The overlap that occurs in such a powerful relationship includes the individuals becoming 'codependent' which in this case is where boundaries between each person are blurred and one may try and control the other in all sorts of ways. Codependency occurs in most love relationships but in these the boundaries are more clearly in place.
In a love addiction one partner, the love addict, may through the obsession lose family and friends along with their own sense of self.
Love then may not be quite so splendid under these circumstances.
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