Kairos - the right Moment
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Judith Schuepfer-Griffin Registered MBACP, BA Hons
4th April, 20160 Comments
I used to like to make plans. I knew what I wanted and I made plans and went for it. If my plans didn't work out I struggled on and tried even harder. I tried to force things the way I wanted them to be and I was convinced that I knew how they should be and what was best. It was hard to live like this, in fact it was exhausting. It made me unhappy and frustrated at times. It never occurred to me that to let things unfold in their own way might be a better way to live.
The other day I said to my husband: "Do you remember when I always made plans and that I was angry with you when you said you didn't believe in plans?" He just smiled. Then I was convinced that, if I would stop making great plans and forcing things in the "right" direction, everything would fall apart and things would drift aimlessly. I had no trust in life, in this mysterious force that lives within us, the spirit of life that none of us can grasp. I felt like an island, disconnected from this great force that some call the Divine, a power far greater than ourselves.
Things only changed for me when I realised that the divine might be something that lives within me, not "out there", separated from me, and that this inner part of me, the inner self, might have plans for me that were far better than my own self-important narrow-minded ones. Slowly I learned to trust and to step out of the way, to let things unfold in their own time. Now I have ideas instead of plans, and I sit with them and see what happens. Sometimes they have no substance and dissolve into nothing.
Sometimes I sit with them for a long time without doing anything about them - until I find myself doing something about them. Suddenly something happens that inspires me and jolts me into action. And looking back, the timing was always perfect. "Kairos". It's a Greek word which means: the right, the sacred moment. It's a bit like being pregnant: Something grows and ripens inside, in the dark. It can't be hastened. The child will be born when it's ready.
Ideas will manifest in the material world when they're ready. Now I know deep in my heart that the right things will happen at the right time. Sometimes we don't recognise that what happens is what needs to happen. In fact, it's scary to even contemplate the idea that whatever happens needs to happen. We can fight it, which will cause us suffering, or we can surrender and try to see the opportunity for change and growth in whatever comes our way.
Counselling could help you to live a more relaxed and trusting life, to realise that we are much more than we think we are, and that to struggle and battle doesn't get us to where we need to go.
About the author
My name is Judith, and I'm writing in the way I do because I would like to make psychological thinking more accessible for everyone. I have noticed that it often helps to create a context within which new ideas make more sense. With my articles I'm trying to create that context and hopefully also an enjoyable reading experience.
Related articles from our experts
Katie Leatham Individual and Couples Counsellor/ Supervisor BACP Accred, UKRCPJune 20th, 2017
Eugene Gallagher BSc (Hons), MBA, MA, MBACPJune 21st, 2017
Yvonne Fitzpatrick-Grimes BA (Hons) Dip. MBACP.June 20th, 2017
Andrea Harrn Psychotherapist and Author of The Mood CardsMay 13th, 2011
Imi Lo: Psychotherapist, Art Therapist, Supervisor (MMH,UKCP,HCPC,MBPsS)March 29th, 2015
Keeley Townsend BA (Hons), Ad.Dip.CP with Distinction, MNCS (Acc)December 14th, 2009
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.