Is it too late to change?
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Julie Terry-Jenner BA (Hons), MBACP
2nd October, 20170 Comments
Sometimes you might feel that life is not quite as you would like it, or you feel that something is not making you happy – or more importantly, something is making you unhappy. Do you carry on putting up with it, or do you change? Is it worth the effort? Will it really make a difference? Is it too late?
You might feel that too much time has passed, or that the risks involved are too high. You might feel like it would not make any difference now or that you have made your bed and must now lie in it.
I believe it is not too late and sometimes the risks and effort are worth it. How many unhappy days are you prepared to live? How long are you prepared to merely tolerate your situation rather than enjoying what you have?
Change is difficult at times and you might think it would be easier to carry on as you have been doing, and to not risk losing what you currently have. But if you think there is a chance that life could be better, that you could be happier or you could generally feel better about yourself and your life, then perhaps it is worth trying?
You might see change as a bad thing whilst forgetting how much change you deal with all the time. You see the seasons change, and your habits and daily lives often change with them. You might wake in the morning to heavy rain, then the sun comes out and your plans for the day change, even what you choose to wear that day might change. Your local supermarket changes its layout and you find you have a choice of following the same route around the shop as you always have, or do it differently and take another way. Change is a part of everyday life.
Changes come in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes a seemingly small change can set a chain-reaction to something bigger. You do not have to change everything all at the same time and can decide on one small part to work on while deciding where you are heading. If you do not have an end-goal in sight, look at what aspects of your life no longer serve you, and choose one element you can change or get rid of.
Asking for support from someone else can help you decide what no longer suits you. Another person may have a broader view of things and may see situations from a different angle. This gives you a new perspective and can show you options and possibilities which you might miss on your own. There are always choices open to you, and sometimes it takes another person showing you before you can see what those choices are.
So, in my opinion, it is not too late to change and one of the most important factors you need to consider is – what are my options? Be brave, be decisive and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
About the author
I'm Julie and I work in private practice as a therapist after years of working within mental health. I use an integrative approach and use a variety of techniques. I work with many issues and enjoy a flexible approach to my work. I recognise the most important element of the work is building a safe, accepting relationship.
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