How to Stop Worrying
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Claire Pierce, Psychosynthesis Counselling and Therapy, MBACP
15th December, 2010
If you are feeling very anxious, counselling encourages you to talk to your loved ones and openly share your worries and concerns. People, however can fear that their difficulties are too overwhelming for others to bare, they imagine that their friends will get fed up with them. In which case, talking to a skilled counsellor might be very helpful.
Counselling encourages clients to talk about issues they feel they cannot normally share with others. A counsellor actively listens to client’s concerns and empathises with their position. Counselling helps clients to clarify what the issues are and helps them to see if any of their anxieties are rooted in their history, working with how they would like their life to be, right now. Exploring how clients might start to access a sense of purpose and create more meaning in their life and in the future.
Counselling enables people to gain an expanded awareness of their issues. With awareness comes choice and with choice the possibility of doing things differently. A Psychosynthesis Counsellor/Therapist, takes into account people’s spiritual life, their soul’s journey as well their psychological issues.
A Counsellor/Therapist’s approach may involve sensitively exploring issues through dialogue, reflective conversations, working creatively with guided visualizations, imagery, chair work, drawing and dreams. Work is done in the way that best suits each individual and the focus is less about techniques and more about the importance of building a therapeutic relationship.
Clients are contained and metaphorically held through their difficulties. Counselling work will teach and encourage clients to self-soothe so that anxieties become more manageable. Being deeply listened to helps clients to gain a new perspective and see things more clearly, allows them to step back and not react and over time find that centered place that resides within everyone.
One of the first indicators of whether or not we are suffering from stress and anxiety is to notice the way we breathe, it is a barometer for our physical and emotional state. If we allow ourselves long, smooth exhalations, this can help assist us with the relief of anxieties. How well we feel is closely bound up with how well we breathe. When we focus our breath we allow ourselves to come into the moment.
Another sign of anxiety is how fast we talk. It is clear in many clients that their speech gets faster and faster as their anxiety increases. So clients are encouraged to become aware of their speech in order to really slow their breathing down, it really can support us to become calmer and arrive in the present moment.
Clients are also encouraged to pray to their God, or whoever they believe to be sacred, ask for guidance and stay open to receiving guidance which may appear through dreams or synchronistic events or through other signs.
Retreat inwards to connect with your inner wisdom. Set aside one day as a Sabbath – it does not have to be at the weekend as some people work at the weekend. It’s very important to have one day per week where one can avoid
the computer, emails and telephone and toxic people and situations. Find books that will nourish the soul and listening to soft music that will elevate your spirit.
Seek inner sanctuary and find refuge within which restores balance, harmony and greater well-being. Allow yourself to be very still and reflective, consider meditating. Transcendental Meditation has proved by many scientific studies to be very effective in reducing stress and anxiety.
In our modern times we have become disconnected from Nature, so it is really important to spend as much time as you can away from the computer and mobile and be in Nature.
We are living in uncertain times, but need to be reminded that every journey into the light is preceded by a dark passage. The Chinese use the same word for chaos as for opportunity. These very real and human difficulties we are all experiencing in the 21st century offer all of us an opportunity for growth, to take stock of our lives and re-evaluate and to remind us about what is important, to focus on gratitude rather than struggle or lack. When we focus on gratitude, we draw more of those good things to us.
Finally, our challenge is to restore our faith, to reconnect and recommit to strengthening our relationship with the Divine to hold us through these uncertainties. Find a quiet spot and write two letters to God; in your first letter include all your anxieties, anger and fears, do not hold back, and give yourself permission to really include all hurts and grudges you have held against the Divine. Then, in the second letter, include all the things you are grateful for to the Divine or whoever you believe to be sacred. Clients find this exercise to be very healing in terms of healing their relationship with the Divine.
In times of darkness, turn to the Divine to support you through it. Find ways to connect to Source, there are many gateways to the Divine: dancing, painting, being in nature, praying, writing, what ever works for you to hold you and sustain you through your concerns. There is a beautiful Buddhist saying: This time shall pass, know that whatever concerns you have will pass and in the meantime use this time to unfold and heal and become more whole.
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