Five reasons you may find it difficult to make a decision
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Maureen Day Pg Dip Counselling BACP
24th February, 20160 Comments
Are you one of those people who wake up on a Monday morning raring to start a new diet and use that gym membership that you bought in the New Year but, by Wednesday decide you do not have time? Confusing or what? Read on...
The top five reasons why you may find it difficult to make a decision:
1. You may give too much of your time and energy to other people: It is easy to get caught up in the needs of other people. This is often because we love them and want them to be happy. If you catch yourself doing this, at the cost of your own goals, remember that people you love want to see you happy too, when you are happy you will be more fun to be around. Set aside time in the week to work on your goals!
2. An active inner critic: Most of us have inner critics this is the voice in our heads that tells us we are not doing things well or we are doing the wrong things. It may even tell us that we are not worthy of our goals and block us from achieving what we want. Try to become aware of this critic and ask them to give you an easier time, not to be so judgemental, and encourage the part of you that wants to achieve your goal to stand up to this critic.
3. You may have a belief that you internalised years ago that is blocking your present day thinking: An example of this is the lady who loved her boyfriend of 10 years dearly and wanted to move in with him but changed her mind the day before she was due to move, part of her still believed what her mother had told her when she was 14: “living in sin is disgraceful” One part of her wanted to live with him and knew it was acceptable to her and her friends, on the other hand the words of her mother still sat with her and consequently affected her behaviour. If you recognise this in yourself, ask yourself which belief is your belief and which one feels “more true” to you.
4. Fear of change: Fear is an emotion that few people like. There is a saying “old habits die hard”. This is because they are like that old pair of shoes that that are comfortable but leak and really don’t protect your feet. Often we continue to wear them because we know where we stand with them. A bit of familiar pain that does not kill us often feels more appealing than taking the risk of a new experience.
5. Responsibilities prevent us from doing what we want: People often find themselves with mortgages, loans or family commitments. These become our responsibilities and it is not always possible to ignore these in order to do what we want. This leads to conflict and confusion. One thing a person can remember when this happens for them is: life does not always have to be all or nothing. We can do a bit of both, dip our toes in the water of a new venture. So you may not be able to give up your job to write a book but you could take a few hours a week to write an article or post to your blog.
“Be kind to yourself and remember there is always compromise.”
About the author
Hi, my name is Maureen and I am a therapist who feels its important that clients understand what therapy is about. I have written this short article to help you understand.
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