27th March, 20150 Comments
Expectation is the mother of all frustration - Antonio Banderas
Does that resonate with you? When we have high expectations for that amazing party to exceed everything and anything we have been to before. Then BAM, back down to earth we slam! The party wasn’t as good as we thought it would be, the food was poor, the people were annoying and the music was so boring…
It isn’t just about the parties though is it, we seem to have all these expectations about life, about our children meeting their milestones or achieving higher grades than their peers. We have these expectations that life is going to be wonderful and full of amazing and beautiful things. We focus on having all the money we need to do the things we love without worrying about it.
But we keep banging our head against the wall as it isn’t working out, why oh why isn’t it happening? I have got the positive thinking under control, I am focusing on the end result, I am hanging onto it so tightly as I don’t want my dreams to be dashed and I really do want this abundant life where things are good. I must be doing something wrong.
How can we stop becoming frustrated or disappointed through our expectations?
- Lower our expectations dramatically.
- Let go of our desires and dreams once we have understood what they are.
- Being grateful and content in the life we have right now.
- Staying in the present moment as much as possible (it is always possible).
- Don’t allow assumptions to drive our thoughts as it only takes us on a never ending journey of suffering.
Once we are able to do all of the above we start seeing the beauty in our world right here right now. With no expectations we live a fulfilled life and give ourselves permission to not hold on so tightly to our dreams and desires as this allows the flow to flow.
The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations - Eli Khamarov
Related articles from our experts
Graeme Orr MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg. Ind. CounsellorJanuary 12th, 2017
Helen Rice, Counsellor & Relationship Therapist MA MSc MBACP Relate CertifiedJanuary 9th, 2017
Andrew Regan MA MBACPJanuary 10th, 2017
Andrea Harrn Psychotherapist and Author of The Mood CardsMay 13th, 2011
Imi Lo: Psychotherapist, Art Therapist, Supervisor (MMH,UKCP,HCPC,MBPsS)March 29th, 2015
Keeley Townsend BA (Hons), Ad.Dip.CP with Distinction, MNCS (Acc)December 14th, 2009
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.