Dealing With Life After Rape
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Samantha De Bono MBACP BACPC FDAP - COUPLES COUNSELLING & INDIVIDUAL COUNSELLING
7th March, 20110 Comments
When people think of rape, they often think about a stranger forcing himself on his victim. But rape is more often carried out by someone the victim knows. This often causes the victim to question herself/himself about the rape and more often than not, the victim feels they are to blame in some way for what happened.
You are NOT to blame. The perpetrator had a choice and he chose to rape you. It does not matter whether you were wearing sexy clothes, it does not matter whether you were in his house and it does not matter whether you were under the influence of drugs or alcohol, he had NO RIGHT if you were not consenting, or if you were in no fit state to give consent.
After experiencing the trauma of rape, you may find that people around you do not really understand. They hear you and may even try to offer help and advice, but they cannot possibly know what you are going through, how this heinous act of power and control has affected you and your life.
It is not uncommon to experience flashbacks after going through a traumatic experience, and these can seem very real. It has been known that even the smell, sounds and feelings come back to the survivor during a flashback. Unfortunately flashbacks may come without warning, which can be very frightening, causing the survivor to remove herself/himself from normal life and other people.
Rape is not something that can just be forgotten, but you can work through your feelings and learn to live with them. Understanding and believing that you are not to blame, is easier than it sounds, but the more you understand the nature of your trauma, the less overwhelming it will be.
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