Coping tools to help us grow our self-esteem

There are many different tools and coping strategies to use to help yourself grow and become more assertive and be able to cope with life’s ups and downs.

• Deep breaths: Five long deep breaths from your abdomen helps to calm down our anger, anxiety, fear and many more symptoms. Inhale deeply for the count of six seconds, then hold your breath for four seconds, exhale for the count of six seconds. Repeat five times. This exercise is a natural antidepressant it puts oxygen into the brain which helps us calm our mind down.

• The word “I”: Use the word I, it helps realise how we actually are feeling or thinking about things, e.g. self-assertive. This amazing tool gets the point across to others if you feel that the other person is not listening to you. By saying “I” you are talking about how you feel or how you think. The word “You” makes people put up their defences but if you use I instead, you are talking about yourself not them. Therefore that person tends to be heard more.

• Keep a diary or journal about how you feel: There might be a recurring pattern that every Tuesday you feel sad (there could be a reason) this is a good tool because you write your feelings and thoughts. Physically visualising thought process makes us more self-aware.

• Who am I?: Start with a blank piece of paper and draw a small circle in the middle of the page with a question mark in the middle of the circle. Draw a spidergram. Insert in the other circles all the positive things that you enjoyed when you were younger, e.g. dancing, reading, favourite meal, favourite drink, hobby that was never taken up. This is the new positive you. Every time one of these topics are completed tick the circle. This tool allows us to become more positive within our self, as in life we become either the father, mother, wife or husband and forget our true self. By achieving these small goals and visualising our achievement we become more confident and self- esteem grows.

These simple tasks can be worked on at your own leisure, which also gives us time to relax and start to enjoy our own company again.