Alone vs lonely
8th March, 20150 Comments
“Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness” – Mandy Hale
Being lonely leads to feeling dependant on others. It manifests a negative state of mind, feeling of low mood or depression. Experiencing emotional and physical pain regularly which only invites suffering to oneself. Loneliness can be ignited from a relationship breakup, divorce or long distance relationship trying its best to master the strain.
However being alone is something of a joyous experience, standing by your core values, recognising self-love and for it to be free flowing and abundant, and then the ripple effect happens. Being ok with one’s own company. Happiness is a daily occurrence through acknowledging kindness and gratitude for everything we are and everything we experience without judgement and attachment.
Can the transition from loneliness to being alone happen? Yes, absolutely it can.
Firstly ask yourself are you ok when you are on your own? If the answer is no, become aware of what you are experiencing.
What are you feeling in your body?
What emotions are present?
Have you got an openness and willingness to this experience?
What is you self-talk like?
Is self-compassion evident?
Is it more beneficial for you to stay lonely? Sometimes we have to check in with ourselves the reasons behind our dependencies on partners, friends or work colleagues. What are they giving us we feel unable to give ourselves?
Once we have a real awareness of our triggers and behaviours and what is behind them we can then engage in the transition to being alone with an openness and willingness to experience life authentically and wholeheartedly.
Related articles from our experts
Katie Leatham Individual and Couples Counsellor/ Supervisor BACP Accred, UKRCPJune 20th, 2017
Yvonne Fitzpatrick-Grimes BA (Hons) Dip. MBACP.June 20th, 2017
Karin Brauner (Spanish/English) MBACP, MBPSJune 16th, 2017
Andrea Harrn Psychotherapist and Author of The Mood CardsMay 13th, 2011
Imi Lo: Psychotherapist, Art Therapist, Supervisor (MMH,UKCP,HCPC,MBPsS)March 29th, 2015
Keeley Townsend BA (Hons), Ad.Dip.CP with Distinction, MNCS (Acc)December 14th, 2009
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.