What is erotic massage?

The human body has a tremendous capacity to experience pleasure through its five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste and, above all, touch. Heightening these senses to the point of exquisite joy is a playful art that brings a new and deeper level of intimacy between two people in a loving relationship.

Erotic massage explained

Erotic massage is a means through which two people in an intimate relationship touch and stimulate each other, and communicate love and tenderness, too. Touch and massage, therefore, are the perfect tools for sexual foreplay.

It is through the stimulation and stroking of the skin that sexually sensitive nerve receptors are set alight. Sigmund Freud described the human body as being wholly erotogenic, and it is. Indeed, it is through the skin that the tactile messages of love, tenderness, and desire are received. At this time, the emotions and the soul are nourished.

What do I need?

Number one on any list is peace and quiet with no interruptions. Get rid of distractions. The room that you use should be warm and comfortable. If you're playing with food or oils make sure you have a large towel handy to sit or lie on.

Mattress protectors can be particularly helpful here. Perhaps you may like fragrance with oil burners and essential oils, candles, or incense sticks. Music too can play an important part so take time to choose something suitable. Turn your room into a haven of seduction.

What are the benefits of massage?

Massage can improve circulation, tone the skin and relax muscles. There is some evidence that massage releases the body’s own endorphins/opiates and even levels of some hormones are raised through regular massage.

With a partner, massage is a great way to explore and feel close.

We all have responses to certain scents, so an aromatherapy massage can evoke positive feelings and emotions. Aromatherapy goes hand in hand with the belief that the state of mind can also help with physical problems.

Aromatherapy for eroticism and romance

Smell plays an important part in the enhancement of eroticism. Humans, like animals, are said to give off powerful sexual scents called pheromones from their sweat glands when they're in the mood for sexual activity. These odorous chemicals work subliminally and are believed to affect the behaviour of others without others even being aware.

How do I start?

To start with, attempt something simple to build confidence and comfort with the process. If you've never given a massage before, you may not know where to start. But you know your partner and can choose either feet or hands, to begin with. Make a playful, gentle suggestion that you would like to try something new and different and go from there.

Hand/foot massage technique

Lubricate your fingers with a small amount of massage oil. Do not put oil directly onto your partner's skin.

• Start from your partner's wrist/ankle, working towards fingers/toes.
• Follow the contours of each hand/foot with light stroking movements with your fingertips.
• Gently squeeze and stretch the fingers/toes one at a time from the left little finger/toe over to the right little finger/toe with your thumb and first finger.
• Always rub "up" the fingers/toes from the knuckle/joint to the nail.
• Use friction on each of the finger/toe joints both back and front.
• Use your thumb to rub the palm/sole in a circular motion adding a little pressure. As you do this you lightly cup the hand/foot with the rest of your fingers.
• Finish with light stroking movements from the wrist/ankle to the ends of the fingers/toes with your fingertips as before.

While all relationships are unique, healthy relationships are often built on good communication, trust, mutual respect, and mindfulness, all of which can help to strengthen our sense of connection with our partner. To find out more about healthy relationships, problems they might face, and how counselling can help to strengthen your relationship, visit relationship counselling.