What is erotic massage?

Erotic massage explained

The human body has a tremendous capacity to experience pleasure through its five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste and, above all, touch. Heightening these senses to the point of exquisite joy is a playful art which brings a new and deeper level of intimacy between two people in a loving relationship.

Erotic massage is a means through which two people in an intimate relationship touch and stimulate each other, communicate love and tenderness too. Touch and massage, therefore, are the perfect tools for sexual foreplay.

It is through the stimulation and stroking of the skin that sexually sensitive nerve receptors are set alight. Sigmund Freud described the human body as being wholly erotogenic, and it is. Indeed, it is through the skin that the tactile messages of love, tenderness, and desire are received. At this time, the emotions and the soul are nourished.

Tip: It’s important to be able to give and receive a massage without criticism, without expectation. Whether you are the receiver or giver, dissolve into your own space to experience the feeling of touching and being touched.

Massage oil

What do I need?

Number one on any list is peace and quiet with no interruptions. Get rid of distractions. The room that you use should be warm and comfortable. If you're playing with food or oils make sure you have a large towel handy to sit or lie on. Mattress protectors can be particularly helpful here. Perhaps you may like fragrance with oil burners and essential oils, candles, or incense sticks. Music too can play an important part so take time to choose something suitable. Turn your room into a haven of seduction.

Massage has many benefits

Massage can improve circulation, tone the skin and relax muscles. There is some evidence that massage releases the body’s own endorphins/opiates and even levels of some hormones are raised through regular massage. With a partner, massage is a great way to explore and feel close.

We all have responses to certain scents, so an aromatherapy massage can evoke positive feelings and emotions. Aromatherapy goes hand in hand with the belief that state of mind can also help with physical problems.

Aromatherapy for eroticism and romance

Smell plays an important part in the enhancement of eroticism. Humans, like animals, are said to give off powerful sexual scents called pheromones from their sweat glands when they're in the mood for sexual activity. These odorous chemicals work subliminally and are believed to affect the behaviour of others without others even being aware.

How do I start?

To start with, attempt something simple to build confidence and comfort with the process. If you've never given a massage before, you may not know where to start. But you know your partner and can choose either feet or hands, to begin with. Make a playful, gentle suggestion that you would like to try something new and different and go from there.

Hand/foot massage

Lubricate your fingers with a small amount of massage oil. Do not put oil directly onto your partner's skin.

  • Start from your partner's wrist/ankle, working towards fingers/toes.
  • Follow the contours of each hand/foot with light stroking movements with your fingertips.
  • Gently squeeze and stretch the fingers/toes one at a time from the left little finger/toe over to the right little finger/toe with your thumb and first finger.
  • Always rub "up" the fingers/toes from the knuckle/joint to the nail.
  • Use friction on each of the finger/toe joints both back and front.
  • Use your thumb to rub the palm/sole in a circular motion adding a little pressure. As you do this you lightly cup the hand/foot with the rest of your fingers.
  • Finish with light stroking movements from the wrist/ankle to the ends of the fingers/toes with your fingertips as before.

Tip: Remember to take your time and move slowly and deliberately. There is a world of difference between a tickle and a massage.

Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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Written by Mary Clegg, Sex and Relationship Psychotherapist

Getting reliable help for relationship issues and/or sexual difficulties can be problematic. Mary offers relationship counselling for couples or individuals with a very flexible but dynamtic approach. Her warm and friendly way of working is mainly systemic, but she is able to work using CBT or psychodynamic models. She is comfortable and confident working with all aspects of sexuality.  She r… Read more

Written by Mary Clegg, Sex and Relationship Psychotherapist

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