Latest articles on counselling and therapy

In this piece I am specifically writing about men and the sexual changes that occur with age. This includes organic and non-organic factors alongside treatment options. There is a normal change in men when they age and often this is not something that is readily discussed. Information and messages about sex and ageing are that it is not a priority as we get older. If this is the perceived; it makes it difficult for men (and women) to know what to expect and what is acceptable for them sexually...

As most of us know, psychoactive substances are believed to be aphrodisiacs, but in reality they have damaging effects on all aspects of sexual function. The interrelationship of alcohol use and sexual activity is well established, but in reality it was not until the 1970's that alcoholism was universally recognised as a cause or contributor to sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction, inhibited sexual desire and anorgasmia. The contemporary western world has embraced a perspective, that...

Today, I'm talking SEX. When working with couples, sex should and will come up. In fact it should be talked about explicitly. We don't necessarily want to know blow by blow (excuse the pun) but we do want to know:

Are you having it? Do you enjoy it? How often? Is there anything about the sex that's bothering you?

It can be daunting talking about sex with a counsellor but it's totally necessary because if there is a problem with sex then we need to know. If it's something that is...

In current times it can be very challenging for people to find the time for intimacy. Just as couples might head for bed they will check their phone or iPad looking at emails and social media sites. So distracted by news from friends or demands from managers at work all thoughts of sex or intimacy which might have been brewing vanish with the thoughts of the report now due tomorrow or news of a friend's pregnancy or illness. Think how much harder this is for clients who also have the challenge...

What does it mean to be ‘kink aware’? There are many kink aware professionals, from lawyers to doctors and of course therapists. The term ‘kink’ refers to diverse sexual preferences, alongside lifestyles sometimes described and polyamorous, transgender, and/or BDSM (bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism). If you identify with any of these choices, you may prefer to access services from a professional that is ‘kink...

As humans, we all need water, food, shelter, identity, self-actualisation, self-esteem and love. These items may seen pretty basic to existing as a human being, but without them, everyday life can be very difficult. These elements help us to manage our everyday relationships: partners, children, family members, friends, work colleagues, etc. The relationships with our partners need to be able to fulfill all our basic human needs so that we are able to live the life we choose. We should...

Since reports of child sex abuse in football were made public, more and more victims are coming forward. So far, over 300 ex-footballers have come forward, reporting traumatic incidents taking place during their younger years.

On 16th November, Andy Woodward waived his right to anonymity to speak out about the incidents. Since then, several other former players have done the same. Woodward revealed how his encounter ‘wrecked his life’ and spoke about his later struggles with depression and...

So when and where do we learn to have good sex? A sexual relationship that lasts beyond the initial passionate lust of the early days. Perhaps all our relationships throughout our lives play their part in the development of our ability to be a loving and generous sexual partner. It is however in the very early stages of our lives that this learning begins. Our capacity to engage in an intimate, trusting and loving relationship with another begins long before we can talk. The continuing...