If there is someone with narcissistic personality disorder in your life, and especially if they are a family member, their behaviour can have a big impact on you. Other articles here have discussed what narcissism is, how narcissists behave and how counselling can help, but I want to concentrate here on narcissistic parents and the problems they can bring. It is important first to bear in mind a few points: 1. Narcissism is on a continuum and people at the lower end of the spectrum will not...
Are you a highly sensitive person (HSP)? Do you feel others’ and your own pain so deeply, that it almost seems unbearable? Do you often feel overwhelmed with crowds, loud noises or when you feel people are expecting too much from you? Do you find yourself feeling over stimulated and frazzled when you have to go to social events? Are you good at things like driving but as soon as you have a passenger with you, you find yourself feeling nervous and making mistakes? It may also be that you...
The early years of our life are so important in how we learn to develop, function and grow as an individual and navigate and learn to relate to others. These formative years help to formulate our learning and to trust in the self and others. Factors such as our genetics and the reliance at a very young age on our environment and the people around us also plays a significant role in this development. We may experience our environment and those around us as one that is safe and secure, even...
Why therapy works - know thy selves Very often people seek out therapy because they have a problem they want to fix. They believe they should know what to do about a specific person or situation or be able to ‘cure’ themselves of a particular affliction such as anxiety, depression or addiction.It is not long before they realise that they are much more complicated than they thought, as well as being a lot more fabulous!It is actually a relief to realise that we are not in fact a...
Emotionally abusive parents are manipulative, cunning and toxic. Brilliant impersonators these narcissistic fakes create a world of "alternative facts". Abused children wear cloaks woven with invisible scars inflicted by the parents’ permanent smear campaigns. Myths follow into adulthood: "difficult, crazy, oversensitive, problem" child, doing it for attention or they tell lies or possesses a big imagination. Scapegoating is reinforced by siblings...
A narcissistic personality hides their manipulation under a theatrical mask. The lights go down, the stage is set, scenery pushed into place and the performance begins. Mastering a metaphorical act, entering the shape-shifting scene, a big brave soldier courageously carries a tiny helpless victim. Without exception and without question, hiding their cowardly nature, their scripted, twisted, distorted personal story is always a tale of zero to hero.A typical "gaslighting" scenario plays out when...
Emotional intensity is a form of neurodiversity that is most often misunderstood by our culture. It is characterised by heightened and intense feelings, a constant stream of both positive and negative feelings - pain, distress, despair, fear, excitement, love, sadness or happiness - sometimes a mixture of many at the same time. Sometimes, feelings can become so powerful and compelling that the person would feel out of control, losing the ability to think straight, or to the point...
Triangulating others is used to gain an advantage over a perceived rival by manipulating the rival into conflict with another. Family systems theorist, Dr Murray Bowen, states: "A triangle is a three-person relationship system. It is considered the building block or "molecule" of larger emotional systems because a triangle is the smallest stable relationship system." Bowen indicates that the tension created for the odd person out created by a triangle is too difficult for an individual to...
Personality disorders part one: narcissistic, antisocial, histrionic and borderline Our “personalities” are made up of our thoughts, feelings and subsequent moods and behavior. There are several different diagnoses for what are labelled “personality disorders”. Often present in emotionally abusive relationships (http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellor-articles/caught-up-in-the-cycle-of-emotional-abuse), and projection...
What Is narcissism? The origins of the term narcissism come from the Greek myth of Narcissus, a great hunter known for his beauty and disdain for those who loved him. In the story, he is lured to a pool, where he falls in love with his own reflection, unaware it is an image, he is unable to leave the beauty of his own reflection, and eventually changes into a flower bearing his name, the Narcissus. We all have the capacity to display some level of boasting or bravado, and may at points feel...
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