Kate Firkins

It doesn’t matter if we call them unhealthy, toxic, abusive, dysfunctional or hostile relationships, they all amount to similar outcomes. 

You might feel disrespected, unappreciated or undermined. You might have noticed that your partner often ridicules or criticises you which over time, makes you feel emotionally drained. It might feel as if you keep “rubbing each other up the wrong way,”

There are so many buzz words relating to toxic relationships; red flags, gaslighting, narcissism, toxic behaviour, but if you’ve normalised these behaviours, it might be difficult to identify that your relationship is unhealthy.

You might have noticed poor eating or sleeping patterns creeping into your life, you might be feeling anxious or alone even when you are with people because you don’t know how to put these feelings into words. 

Let me assure you, you are not alone. 

There are many reasons why you might be attracting unhealthy relationships, but if these patterns continue, you will eventually struggle with a low self-esteem, anxiety, your old friendships will suffer, you may feel stressed and struggle to have positive thoughts about your future.

Abusive relationships often take on a classic pattern of behaviour from the perpetrator – it’s called The Cycle of Abuse. It starts with a period of tension, followed by acting out and ending up with (yet another) reconciliation. 

We repeat dysfunctional relationships because they’re familiar. Even when you know something is wrong or unhealthy, it’s hard to change; it’s always easier to keep doing what you’ve always done than to apply new skills. But counselling can help you to break these destructive behavioural patterns. I can help you to see where these familiar patterns may have stemmed from and help you to identify what type of relationship you want for your future. By doing this you can rebuild your self-esteem and feel confident to put boundaries in place which feel right for you. By breaking the mould, you can change your old habits; you will feel a sense of connection in your future relationships, and you will feel safe and respected.

I can’t take your past experiences away from you, but I can help you to feel a sense of satisfaction with your life and confidence that you can communicate your needs to those around you.

I will offer an integrated approach to counselling giving you a place where you can understand your own self-worth to create a future for yourself.

If you believe I am the right counsellor for you, but you have concerns about your safety or a court case, I want you to feel comfortable discussing how I can continue to support you. I take your confidentiality and privacy very seriously; I am registered with the Information Commissioner’s Office meaning I abide by their data protection requirements.

Payments need to made 24 hours before your session