How to feel good
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Sharon Rooke UKCP Psychotherapist
18th April, 20180 Comments
Let me ask you a question. Whose job is it to make you feel good? If you believe this responsibility lays with others, don't read on... You won’t like what I’m going to say.
Feeling good is a choice and some people choose not to use this choice. Some may disagree, daring to suggest that how they feel is not up to them; they give this to somebody, anyone or anything else. You may be reading this agreeing, especially if you’re not feeling great; please wait as I share the first three secrets to 'feeling good.'
Outcome is about beginning with the successful end in mind. It is such a waste when more time is spent considering the weekly shopping lists than creating goals, objectives and outcomes. Use the universal laws of attraction by paying particular attention and focusing on your outcome.
On my NLP training programmes, I teach the well-formed conditions of outcomes; rules to achieve the goal, e.g. say it the way you want it. William and I used to play that game in the car, no matter what length of the journey it made it more interesting, you know the one. You pick a car colour and then count how many you see on your journey. Well after a while a twist was introduced, the person with the least number seen was the winner. Two colours were chosen. The Law of Attraction is proven once more as we saw pink & yellow cars. You get what you focus on. Whether the glass is half full or half empty, you get what you focus on.
Your thinking affects your feelings. Acting as if you already feel good is a really very simple way of feeling good. Because our mind and body are connected they have tremendous influence over each other. Try this exercise with a friend. Stand facing them with your right arm extended straight out to the side from the shoulder. Say “I’m weak”, in a really weak voice, with a very weak posture, then get your friend to press down on your arm while you resist. Allow them to get a sense of how much pressure it takes to move your arm down.
Now extend your arm out to the side again, saying “I’m incredibly strong” 10 times, in a loud, powerful tone of voice, and with strong body posture. Repeat the arm test and notice what responses you have this time.
When we were younger, learning new things (walking, talking, riding a bike) was through a process of trial and error. This is still true, especially so for outcomes. A boat on a long voyage; it is never going straight ahead Captain. It is being adjusted from the feedback received. When we have more and more awareness our pathway can be flexed, changed and adapted. Increasing awareness, we compare the difference between where we are and where we want to be.
Sharon has a private practice in Herefordshire & Worcester.
About the author
UKCP registered psychotherapist and supervisor; ExChair of NLPtCA.
Specialising in NLP, NLPt, satir systemic psychotherapy, clinical hypnotherapy.
Providing therapy for individuals, couples and families.
Providing training for personal and professional development.
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