Establishing the adult self
In my experience establishing a sense of our adult self, seems to be crucial for our personal development and mental well being. So many fears and problems seem to harbour themselves in loneliness. A hope that someone/something somewhere can rescue us, whether that be a mother, doctor, a partner, alcohol, drugs, a better job, a slimmer body, a better car, a younger face, a bigger bank balance and so on...
A sense of something or someone that is missing is often a feeling that we have and that, we, on our own, as we are, is not enough. We don’t feel enough. We don’t have enough. A deep- stated sense of dissatisfaction. Of incompleteness. So goes on the fruitless pursuit of trying to fill this need, an itch that cant be scratched. The search for something or someone that will fill the void, make us feel happy and secure.
Could it be that we struggle to be our adult self. To be responsible and accountable. To accept it when we are miserable and take courage to change our lives rather than hope somebody or something else will? Is it scary to accept that its all down to us? To realise we have choices. To accept its ok to make mistakes because that’s how we learn. To have courage to not worry so much what others think of us. To be ourselves, to be authentic.
Happiness has long been associated with being at ‘peace’ with ourselves. So if we took all these things away that we think will make us happy, what are we left with. Just ourselves I guess. So isn’t it so important to be the love and re-assurance that we seek.
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About Lisa Charlton
I am an accredited member with the BACP. I have a private practice in Beckenham where i see individuals. My primary interest are with clients experiencing anxiety and depression.
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