"When you are inspired by some great purposes, some extraordinary project, all of your thoughts break their bonds: your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a great and wonderful world. Dominant forces, faculties and talents become alive and you discover yourself to be a greater person than you ever dreamed yourself to be."
The last couple of weeks have been what I would describe as "busy quietness". I had been reading a lot about the need to have some quiet time to reflect, to grow and meditate. I spend a lot of time alone in general, so I had discounted how this could benefit me. What was different over these last couple of weeks was that I consciously regularly did a number of ordinary mundane tasks more effectively and frequently.
1. I began to take my gym work outs more seriously. I started working out between three and four times a week. I took on an extra class. I noticed that I was more present in my fitness classes which led to me enjoying my work outs more.
2. I had a clear out at home.
3. I was cooking more and planning my meals ahead of time or at least making sure that I had healthy choices available.
4. Television was no longer a desire nor a need. I was quite happy and content to sit in silence for prolonged periods of time either reading a book, thinking or merely just looking out and noticing my surroundings more.
5. I made a conscious decision to sign up on a free two-day workshop on a course that I was contemplating (it is on these two days that something was stirred up within me like never before).
On the last day of the two day workshop I was approached by a lovely young lady who had noticed me at some point during the workshop. She was interested in what I did for a living and she wanted to share her story with me, I was honoured. She told me how fear had controlled her life for a long time and how she had learnt strategies to overcome this fear with support from a therapist. It was from this personal experience that she had made a conscious decision to help other people to confront their own personal fears.
After sharing her story she wondered if I would be interested in joining her on her crussade. Wow, I thought to myself. I admired her bravery and strength. She was doing all the things that I had thought about doing but never quite came round to initiating. What had she seen of me in the last two days that had convinced her that I maybe interested in her work or that she would like to work with me, I thought to myself. I didn't care too much for the answers to my questions as I knew that with time the answers would unfold. In that moment all I knew was that I had to say yes, so I did.
I had been struggling to really focus for weeks leading up to this workshop. I would have described myself as just coasting through life. I wasn't feeling low or down but equally I wasn't feeling inspired or energised. The short conversation was followed on by a long chat over a coffee the following week. During this time something was stirred up in me like never before. This response was unexpected. As she told me the full story about her fears, I could relate.
Fear has always been something that I too have always had a long standing battle with in my own personal life. I could relate to her struggle. I had always said I would deal with my personal fears but somehow I have always found a reason to talk myself out of it, classic avoidance.In that moment I made a conscious decision to allow my courage to take over from my fear. Yes it was scary and continues to be but that somewhat simple act has empowered me on my journey as a Feardom Fighter.
From the moment I agreed to join forces I have been surprised by the number of ideas that have been ignited within me. It's almost like I have been storing these ideas secretly in my head awaiting for my conscious self to awaken. For instance, a dear friend of mine has been encouraging me to write an article and yes you guessed it, I have been avoiding that too. And yet I find myself typing away writing this article today.
Perhaps at a much deeper level, I too was waiting for this moment. I have felt at ease with myself and more trusting of my decision making processes in my life. I have had a sense of clarity like never before. I truly believe that all the five things I mentioned earlier have all been a positive contributing factor to the clarity that I am experiencing in the here and now:
Exercise: Releases endorphins which helped to maintain my mood.
Clear out: The physical act was mirroring a more mental clear out at a subconscious level.
Healthy eating: Ensuring I consumed nutrients that my physical and mental body required to perform at an optimum level.
Meditation: Taught me to function at a higher level of consciousness like never before.
Exposure: l made myself available to see and be seen.
LESSON LEARNT: Be still and listen to your inner self.
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About Nyasha Mutavayi
UKCP registered Integrative Psychotherapist, Registered Mental Health Nurse, Dialectical Behavioural Therapist. Private practice based in the South of Leeds. Inspired by the meaning of day to day seemingly mundane tasks and how they impact on our psyche.