When the strong struggle: Why talking matters

If you’re someone who prides yourself on being strong – the one others turn to, the one who keeps it together – it can be hard to admit when you’re struggling. Maybe you don’t even think of it that way. You just get on with things, push through, and handle it. But even the strongest people have limits. And just because you can carry a heavy load, this doesn’t mean you should do it alone.

That’s why days like Time to Talk Day matter. It’s a reminder that opening up isn’t a weakness – it’s human. We live in a world where we’re constantly bombarded with news, social media updates, and the demands of our modern, fast-paced lives. On top of this, we are currently faced with economic uncertainty, political changes and the spectre of environmental crises looming. In the face of all this, talking about how we’re really doing has never been more important.

Strength doesn’t mean silence

Many of us have grown up believing that being strong means keeping our problems to ourselves. We’re taught to be independent, not to burden others, or to “just get on with it.” We may be able to go on for quite some time like this and look resilient to the outside world. But bottling everything up comes with its own problems and, eventually, it can backfire.  

Stress, anxiety, and low mood don’t disappear just because we ignore them. They tend to build up and come out in other ways – poor sleep, irritability, relationship issues, and even physical symptoms are all common. If they continue to build, this can lead to exhaustion, burnout, or what some people describe as a ‘nervous breakdown’. While this phrase isn’t a medical diagnosis, it reflects the very real experience of feeling like you just can’t cope anymore. Talking before things reach that point can make all the difference.

We're not speaking about magic here. Opening up about your problems doesn't make them suddenly disappear. It does, however, lighten the load. When we say things out loud, they often feel more manageable. We also give ourselves the chance to hear our own thoughts more clearly, rather than letting them swirl endlessly in our minds. This gives us the chance to take positive action.

You don’t have to wait until it’s ‘bad enough’

A common reason people hold back from talking about their struggles is the belief that others have it worse. “It’s not that bad,” “Other people are dealing with bigger problems,” or “I should be able to handle this” might be thoughts you’re familiar with. But struggling isn’t a competition. Just because someone else is going through something difficult, it doesn’t mean your feelings don’t matter.

If something is weighing on you, that’s enough reason to talk about it. You don’t need to justify it, and you don’t need to wait until things reach breaking point. Small conversations can make a big difference, whether it’s a chat with a friend, family member, colleague, or a professional. The important thing is not keeping it all inside.

Recognising your own limits

If you’re someone who naturally takes on the role of listener, it’s also worth checking in with yourself. This is especially true when people are being encouraged to share through events like Time to Talk Day. Supporting others is important, but so is recognising your personal limits. If you’re already feeling overwhelmed, constantly being the person others turn to can add to your stress. It can be easy to dismiss this as "the way things are", but where does that leave you?

Recognising your limits doesn’t mean you should stop being there for others, but it does mean setting boundaries. It’s OK to acknowledge when you don’t have the capacity to take on someone else’s worries. You’re not letting anyone down by protecting your own well-being. In fact, looking after yourself means you’ll be in a better place to offer support when you genuinely have the space to do so.

Finding the right way to talk

Opening up doesn’t mean you have to pour everything out in one go. If talking about feelings feels unfamiliar, start small. You might begin by simply acknowledging to yourself that things are tough. Then, when you feel ready, you could mention it to someone you trust. It doesn’t have to be a deep, intense conversation. Instead, it could be something as simple as, “I’ve been feeling really stressed lately” or “Things have been a bit overwhelming.”

If talking in person feels too difficult, writing things down first can help. Some people find it easier to text or email a friend before speaking face-to-face. Others prefer professional support, like talking to a therapist. This can feel more accessible since it reduces concerns about how the other person will respond, or that you are burdening them in some way. There’s no right or wrong way – what matters is finding an approach that works for you.

Remember, seeking professional support is always an option. Talking may be all you need, but it isn't always enough. A therapist can provide a safe and confidential space to explore your thoughts and feelings, helping you navigate your problems and achieve personal growth.