Unmasking sexism: From awareness to action

International Women’s Day is a celebration of the achievements of women and the progress we have made towards gender equality. Alongside this, it challenges us to take a hard look at the biases, stereotypes and discrimination that continue to hold us back.

This year’s theme is Accelerating Action. It calls for society to increase the speed at which we address the systemic barriers and everyday biases faced by women. Against a backdrop of increasing political and social division, this might sound like quite the ask. But one way to make a difference is to recognise how this divisiveness may play out for you internally.

A sexist caricature 

I invite you to pause for a minute and see what image comes to mind when you try to think of a sexist. What kind of qualities do you think they have? For many, words like 'aggressive', 'backwards', 'arrogant', 'stubborn' and 'domineering' may come up.

The problem here is that we are holding onto an image of a sexist drawn by a street artist in a tourist hotspot. We recognise it, but its features are grossly exaggerated and unflattering. By holding onto this caricature of a sexist, we end up limiting our understanding of the complex reality of sexism. We see it as outside ourselves, as part of a bad "other". This makes it very hard to notice the more subtle ways that sexism exists within society and within ourselves. After all, we're good, right? Kind, thoughtful, open-minded, reasonable – none of this fits comfortably into that picture.

As long as we are carrying around this caricature of The Sexist in our minds, we’re likely to have strong reactions when confronted with our own biases. If someone calls us out, it can feel like a threat to our identity as reasonable and decent human beings. We may then be hit with shame, guilt, sadness or anger and (quite naturally) end up defending ourselves and dismissing the possibility that we are sexist at all. In doing so, we miss the opportunity to expand our self-awareness and engage in meaningful dialogue. Such dialogue can deepen our understanding and connection with others, helping to reduce social division.

Recognising bias beyond the caricature

To move forward, we need to look beyond this rigid image and start noticing the ways we might, at times, contribute to inequality and harm. This largely happens due to the sexism we have internalised through our experiences and interactions with our environment.

Starting from childhood, we absorb messages about ourselves and the world from the people around us, society, and the media. Some of these messages are clear to us, but many operate just beneath our awareness, shaping how we see ourselves and others. Although society has made huge progress in dismantling overt discrimination over the years, many subtle relics of it remain at large. This is why, no matter where we grow up, we internalise and enact certain biases, often without realising it. This doesn’t just apply to men but to people of all genders.

By letting go of the exaggerated idea of The Sexist and the other villainous figures such as The Racist and The Homophobe, we open ourselves up to recognising our own biases. We bring them out from the edges of awareness and give ourselves the chance to let go of them too. This process is both personal and deeply relational. It shows up in how we respond when someone calls us out or when we recognise the impact of our own words or actions. In these moments, we have a choice – to disconnect in defensiveness or to lean in and engage.

Points of reflection 

Internalised biases can show up in many different ways and parts of life. This will vary from person to person, but here are some common examples to look out for and reflect on:

• The way you speak – who you interrupt, who you defer to, who you are confident or hesitant around.
• How comfortable you feel asserting your needs and boundaries.
• The assumptions you make about competence based on gender, race, and other identities.
• Who you instinctively see as an authority.
• What kinds of behaviour you are willing to tolerate from different people.
• How you take up space in relation to others.
• What you feel entitled to from others.
• The ways you distort yourself, or hide yourself to feel more palatable.
• How you see your roles and duties and those of others.
• How you interpret people’s emotions, such as seeing a man’s anger as valid and a woman’s as an overreaction.

Using mindfulness as a tool for awareness

Becoming more aware of these patterns is not about self-punishment or getting lost in guilt. It’s about learning to notice, reflect, and make conscious choices based on what we find. Mindfulness can be a valuable tool in this process. It teaches us to observe our thoughts and emotions as they arise, without immediately reacting to them or becoming entangled in them. This creates space between our experiences and our responses, making it easier to recognise when internalised biases are at play.

Rather than automatically denying an uncomfortable thought – whether it’s a defensive reaction to being called out or an internalised message about gender roles – mindfulness allows us to acknowledge it without judgment. It can help us see that although we have feelings, thoughts, and roles, we are more than any of these things. They do not define us. This distinction helps us hold our discomfort with curiosity rather than resistance, making it possible to reflect rather than react.

When we practise this, being confronted with our biases stops feeling like a personal attack. Instead, it becomes an invitation to unlearn, to grow, and to show up differently in the world. And while this process might begin within us, its impact extends outward. The more we cultivate this awareness in ourselves, the more we are able to engage in meaningful conversations, challenge harmful norms, and contribute to real change.

Small shifts, big impact

Accelerating Action is not just about large-scale policies or sweeping societal change. It also happens in the small, everyday moments when we pause, reflect, and choose to respond differently. It happens when we resist the urge to defend and instead lean in with curiosity.

This work is ongoing, but every step counts. By recognising our biases and taking responsibility for them, we do not just create change in ourselves but also help shift the culture around us. This is where true progress begins.

Therapy can be a valuable space for this kind of exploration. It offers the chance to reflect on internalised beliefs in a non-judgmental setting, helping us to understand where they come from and how they influence our thoughts and actions. Through this process, we can develop greater self-awareness and learn to engage with discomfort in a way that leads to personal growth. If you are curious about these ideas or want support in navigating them, counselling might be a helpful place to start.