Why do I feel like this? Understanding hormones and mental health

If you've ever found yourself wondering why some weeks you feel confident, motivated and capable, while other weeks leave you feeling exhausted, anxious or emotionally overwhelmed, you're not alone.

Many women spend years believing they should feel the same every day. We live in a world that expects consistency, productivity and resilience regardless of what is happening in our bodies, relationships or lives. Yet as women, our experience is, in its true essence, cyclical.

As a counsellor and psychotherapist working with women through pregnancy, motherhood, perimenopause, life transitions and hormonal change, I regularly meet women who feel confused by shifts in their mood, energy and emotional well-being.

They often arrive in therapy asking questions such as:

• Why do I feel so overwhelmed all the time?
• Why is my anxiety worse at certain points in the month?
• Why do I no longer feel like myself since becoming a mother?
• Why am I struggling to cope when everyone else seems fine?

The answers are rarely simple. However, one thing I have noticed is the powerful connection between hormones, life transitions and mental health. When we begin to understand the seasons and cycles shaping our lives, both internally and externally, we can often replace self-criticism with compassion, curiosity and self-understanding.

Living against our natural rhythm

The natural world doesn't expect itself to be in full bloom all year round. Yet many women place that expectation upon themselves. We push through exhaustion, ignoring signs of stress. We judge ourselves for needing rest and compare ourselves to unrealistic standards of productivity and emotional stability.

Katherine May's Wintering helped deepen my understanding of how valuable periods of rest, reflection and recovery can be. Rather than seeing difficult periods as something to overcome as quickly as possible, May encourages us to learn to view them as meaningful seasons that deserve attention and care.

The hidden impact of hormones on mental health

Many women are surprised to discover how significantly hormones can influence emotional well-being.

Hormonal changes affect neurotransmitters in the brain, energy levels, sleep quality, emotional sensitivity and stress responses. While every woman's experience of her monthly cycle has its nuances, there are some overall predictable shifts throughout their menstrual cycle that can be incredibly empowering to understand and honour in our daily lives.

Rather than viewing emotional changes as a personal failing, we can begin to understand them as signals from the body that certain needs require attention.

What your menstrual cycle may be telling you

Tracking your menstrual cycle can offer valuable insight into your emotional and psychological well-being. Many of my clients find that simply becoming aware of where they are in their cycle helps them make sense of feelings that previously felt confusing or overwhelming.

Menstrual phase: a time for rest and reflection

During menstruation, many women experience lower energy, increased emotional sensitivity and a greater need for quiet and solitude. This phase often invites: rest and recovery, reduced pressure and expectations, emotional processing, reflection and self-care. When these needs are ignored, feelings of exhaustion, irritability or low mood can intensify.

Follicular phase: a time for growth and new possibilities

As hormone levels begin to rise after menstruation, many women experience increased motivation, creativity and optimism. This phase often supports: learning and exploration, goal setting, social connection, and creative projects. Many women describe feeling more energised and hopeful during this stage.

Ovulation: a time for connection and confidence

Around ovulation, some women notice increased confidence, communication skills and social energy. This can be a valuable time for meaningful conversations, collaboration, visibility and self-expression, and building relationships. Understanding this phase can help women work with their natural strengths rather than against them.

Luteal phase: a time for boundaries and self-protection

The luteal phase often receives negative attention due to PMS symptoms, yet it can provide important information. Many women become more aware of unmet needs, unresolved frustrations and areas where stronger boundaries may be required.

During this phase, support often comes from: prioritising sleep, reducing overwhelm, nourishing food, gentle movement, and saying no when necessary. Rather than viewing increased sensitivity as a weakness, it can be helpful to see it as valuable information.

Why understanding your cycles matters

When women begin recognising the natural seasons and cycles in daily life, something important often shifts. Instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?" you might ask, "What do I need right now?" This re-frame and shift in perspective from the external to the internal can have a profound impact on mental health.

Understanding our cycles as women helps us:

• develop greater self-compassion
• recognise unmet emotional needs
• reduce shame around emotional fluctuations
• improve self-care practices
• strengthen boundaries
• build resilience through self-awareness

Finding support through life's transitions

Therapy can provide a supportive space to explore these patterns in greater depth, particularly if anxiety, low mood, overwhelm, or life transitions are affecting your quality of life.

Whether you're navigating pregnancy, new motherhood, returning to work, fertility challenges, perimenopause, or simply feeling disconnected from yourself, you don't have to make sense of it all alone. Therapy offers a dedicated space to slow down, reflect and better understand what your mind and body may be trying to communicate.

Many women tell me that the greatest relief comes not from "fixing" themselves, but from finally feeling understood. By exploring your unique experiences, hormonal patterns, relationships and life circumstances, therapy can help you reconnect with yourself and develop practical ways to support your emotional well-being.