It's my anxiety

There is a phrase I hear often in the counselling room: “It’s my anxiety.” Not “I feel anxious sometimes”, but “my anxiety”, as though anxiety has become part of someone’s identity rather than a natural human response.

Anxiety can feel overwhelming, frightening and exhausting. It can affect sleep, relationships, confidence, work and even the simplest daily tasks. For many people, it can feel as though their mind is constantly searching for danger, even when they are safe.

But anxiety is not weakness, and it is not something wrong with you. Anxiety is, first and foremost, a survival response. Understanding what anxiety is and why it happens can often be the first step towards changing our relationship with it.

The science behind anxiety

Our brains are designed to protect us. Thousands of years ago, human survival depended on quickly detecting danger. If our ancestors encountered a threat, such as a predator, the brain and body needed to react immediately.

This is where the fight, flight or freeze response comes in.

When the brain senses danger, the amygdala, often referred to as the brain’s alarm system, sends signals throughout the body. Stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol are released, preparing us to survive.

This can cause physical symptoms such as:

• a racing heart
• rapid breathing
• sweating
• tightness in the chest
• dizziness
• shaking
• nausea
• feeling detached or overwhelmed

The body is essentially preparing to either fight the threat, run away from it, or freeze in order to survive. The problem is that our brains do not always distinguish between a real physical danger and an emotional or psychological one.

Today, anxiety may be triggered by:

• work stress
• relationships
• social situations
• financial pressure
• health worries
• trauma
• fear of failure
• past experiences

The body can react to these situations in much the same way as it would to physical danger. For some people, this response becomes overactive. The nervous system stays on high alert, constantly scanning for potential threats. Over time, anxiety can begin to feel permanent.

When anxiety becomes exhausting

Many people describe feeling trapped in cycles of overthinking and worry. Thoughts race ahead into “what if” scenarios. The body remains tense and alert. Sleep becomes difficult. Confidence drops. Avoidance behaviours can begin to develop.

Often, anxiety is not only about what is happening now, but also about what has happened in the past. Our experiences shape how safe we feel in the world. If someone has experienced criticism, instability, trauma, loss or emotional overwhelm, the nervous system may learn that the world is unsafe or unpredictable. 

Anxiety is often the mind and body trying to protect us, even if that protection no longer feels helpful.

How therapy can help with anxiety

Every person’s experience of anxiety is unique, which means there is no “one size fits all” approach to therapy. Therapy can offer a safe, non-judgemental and supportive space to begin exploring what may sit beneath anxiety, rather than focusing solely on trying to 'get rid' of it.

Very often, anxiety has a story behind it. Some people may have spent years feeling misunderstood, dismissed or pressured to “just cope”. Having a space where you can speak openly, feel heard and explore your experiences without judgement can be an important part of the therapeutic process.

Sessions may help someone to:

• understand their anxiety and recognise possible triggers
• notice patterns of thought and behaviour
• explore underlying emotions and past experiences
• develop greater self-awareness and self-compassion
• learn ways to feel more grounded and emotionally regulated
• rebuild confidence and trust in themselves

Therapy is not necessarily about eliminating anxiety altogether. Anxiety is a normal human emotion and, at times, an important one. Instead, therapy can help people better understand their anxiety, respond to it differently and feel less controlled by it.

How hypnotherapy can help

Hypnotherapy is another therapeutic approach that some people may find helpful when experiencing anxiety.

During hypnotherapy, a therapist typically guides the client into a deeply relaxed and focused state. This can provide an opportunity to explore automatic responses, thoughts and patterns while encouraging feelings of calm and safety.

When someone experiences chronic anxiety, the nervous system can become accustomed to reacting automatically. Even when the conscious mind recognises that there is no immediate danger, the body may still respond as though there is.

Hypnotherapy may help people to:

• experience deep relaxation
• reduce some of the physical sensations associated with anxiety
• challenge or interrupt unhelpful patterns of thinking
• develop feelings of calm and safety
• strengthen confidence and emotional resilience

Many people describe hypnosis as a calming and restorative experience. Despite common myths, a person remains aware and in control during hypnotherapy and cannot be made to do something against their will.

For some people, combining approaches such as counselling and hypnotherapy can be helpful, allowing space both to understand their experiences and to develop different ways of responding to anxiety.

Anxiety does not define you

One of the most important things to remember is this: you are not your anxiety. Anxiety may currently feel loud, consuming or ever-present, but it is not your identity. It is a response, one that developed for a reason.

With support, understanding and the right therapeutic approach, it is possible to develop a different relationship with anxiety and begin to feel safer within yourself and your life. Sometimes the first step is simply having a space where you no longer have to face it alone.