How to stay sane in customer service and hospitality

Have you ever felt like the work you do in customer service is stressful, exhausting and even meaningless? Maybe you feel guilty for thinking this because other people put up with so much more in their jobs. As my working background is primarily in service work, I understand the stress, overwhelm, and burnout that can come with it. In this article I want to recognise what service workers do, the value they bring, and highlight how to cope with stress, burnout and overwhelm. 

Challenges faced in customer service and hospitality roles

• Service workers can be perceived as unintelligent or low-skilled workers.
• Staff may work long hours, sometimes feeling pressured to work through their breaks due to being understaffed.
• Shift work can disrupt sleeping patterns.
• During busy periods the requests and complaints from customers can get overwhelming.
• It takes an emotional toll to remain polite, apologise for things that may have not been your fault and deal with complaints and rude behaviour.
• Sexual harassment particularly in bar work.
• Repetitive work can feel meaningless at times.
• Lack of recognition in these job roles.

There is a rewarding side to customer service as well. It is generally nice to see the regular customers, hear their stories and connect with them. Some customers go out of their way to wish you a pleasant day or make uplifting comments as they recognise that service work can be stressful.

With automation taking over, lonely customers have less human interaction in their everyday lives, and really value the chats they can have with service workers. However, customer service roles are often not valued or recognised for the positive emotional impact they can have on the wider community. 

Compassion fatigue and the emotional toll

Within counselling, compassion fatigue refers to when a counsellor finds themselves unresponsive to clients’ pain, or loses empathy for clients, usually due to becoming desensitized to the issues that clients are bringing. If and when counsellors experience this, they tend to see it as a sign to take a break from their work, change careers, or pivot into a different area of counselling.

The emotional demands placed on service workers may parallel this. At the most basic level, service workers are expected to maintain a friendly, positive and welcoming attitude, regardless of how they might be feeling. This is usually manageable for a certain amount of time. However, during busy periods when demands are higher, mistakes happen and customers are frustrated, meaning servers are likely to experience more complaints and more stress. To top it all off, they need to ‘mask’ or suppress their emotions, try not to show their stress, acknowledge the customer’s feelings, and empathise with them about their complaints. 

Add to that the abuse that service workers may face from the odd customer. From my own experience, this can include verbal abuse from customers (being called stupid over a tea-stained teaspoon), threats of physical violence and watching other staff face racist comments and homophobia from customers and colleagues. 

I’ve found that most people I’ve worked with in customer service are resilient and develop a level of tolerance. However, when multiple things go wrong one after another, or when something extreme happens, it can become overwhelming.

Scenarios that may suggest burnout in a customer service or hospitality role

• Lack of patience and consistent inability to manage your frustration or anger with customers or colleagues.
• Feeling like you hate everyone.
• Feeling dead inside.
• Being unable to enjoy social interaction even outside of work.
• Dreading work and being upset by the thought of work when you aren’t there.
• Fantasizing about an illness, accident or natural disaster just so that you can have time off work.

These kinds of scenarios might suggest that the stress of work is getting to you and depending on the situation, it may be time to seek help, take some time off, or look for alternative work. 

At one point I found that my customer service job was impacting my mental health both in and outside of work so much that I realised it was time to quit and look for something else. Ultimately it wasn’t the work itself that led me to quit, but the way management treated the staff and what they were willing to overlook when it came to mistreatment from customers and colleagues. Stepping away from that environment strengthened my boundaries and self-worth, allowing me to find a job that was better suited to me.

At that time, I was seeing a counsellor who helped me to recognise my values, ethics and the power I had in voicing my concerns and eventually leaving. Without the counselling, I’m not sure if I would have had the confidence to quit when I did. 

Tips for managing stress, burnout, and overwhelm

• Engage in enjoyable and meaningful activities outside of work, such as hobbies and spending quality time with friends and family.
• Find ways to make your work feel more meaningful, for example through the conversations you have with customers or the support you offer to colleagues.
• General self-care, such as eating right, sleeping enough, and drinking enough water.
• Use your voice and seek support from management and colleagues - ensure you are taking your breaks, and let your manager know if you are struggling as they should be able to support you.
• Build positive, supportive relationships with your colleagues, and remember that your team is there to support you too.
• Make use of professional help such as counselling.

How is counselling beneficial to service workers?

Counselling helps you connect with your feelings and provides you with an outlet for your emotions. It relieves tension and stress and helps you to recognise and advocate for your needs. This contrasts the suppression of emotions that is expected in work, and gives you a chance to slow down, reflect, and show yourself some compassion.

Counselling reminds you that you are important and worth looking after. It reminds you of your values and what matters to you. Understanding your values then helps you to make decisions that are right for you.

Counselling helps you to explore the impact of your work on your self-esteem. Receiving complaints and abuse and having to apologize for things that may not have been your fault can impact self-esteem. The words that we hear and say every day matter. 

Counselling can also address other things that are going on in your life. Many people in service work are in a transition stage of life such as entering the workforce for the first time, working around their studies while building the foundation for their career, or re-entering the workforce after a period of time off. I’ve also known people from other countries get into service work where perhaps this is their first job in the UK. Counselling can help to address the uncertainty, loss, hopes and identity struggles that come with these various life transitions. 

I hope this article has demonstrated the meaning that you can bring to your work and your value as a service worker. That being said, who you are is so much more than what you do for work and your mental health is worth more than a job. If you relate to the stories in this article and found the tips helpful, I hope you will also consider how counselling might benefit you.