How do I find the right counsellor?

Maybe it starts with thinking, "I think I need to speak to someone." That can be a bold decision. Maybe there's a Google search for counselling, or perhaps you ask AI, "How do I find the right counsellor?" Maybe you reach out to someone you trust, or maybe you simply don't know where to start.

Looking for a counsellor for the first time is a significant step, and it naturally raises many questions. Whether you are navigating life's intensity or seeking specific support for your mental health, the initial search can feel daunting.

You might find yourself wondering:

• Do I want to work online or see someone face-to-face?
• What kind of help am I looking for?
• Is the counsellor going to be able to help me?
• Am I beyond help?

You might find yourself searching Google, looking through directories and wondering where to begin. Do I search by issue? Anxiety? Low mood? Bereavement? Or do I search by location? Do I choose someone because they have a kind face? Or do I need to think about cost?

A personal reflection on the sea of therapists

I recently decided to engage in counselling myself. Despite my professional background and understanding of various modalities and qualifications, browsing through directories of available therapists felt like looking out at a vast sea, unsure which way to row my boat.

The question remained:"Is this going to be the person who truly meets me where I am?" Even for those of us who have worked as therapists for years, this process is not always straightforward.

What to look for in a counsellor

When you are searching for support, it is important to find a professional you can trust. Here are a few things that may help you narrow your search.

Qualifications and training

Ensure the therapist is qualified and has undertaken recognised training in counselling or psychotherapy, alongside a commitment to ethical and professional practice.

Online or face-to-face?

Counselling online requires a different set of skills and understanding compared with traditional face-to-face sessions. If you choose remote support, ensure your counsellor understands these differences, from maintaining connection in a digital space to managing appropriate boundaries.

Understanding your needs

It is important to feel confident that the therapist understands the difficulties you are bringing. Whether you are looking for support with anxiety, bereavement, low mood, neurodivergence, disability or another aspect of your life, their profile should help you feel understood before you've even made contact.

Finding the connection

Ultimately, therapy is about connection. You are looking for a voice that seems to speak to you. Real connection often begins in small moments: a change in posture, a shift in voice or a moment of shared silence that allows your internal process to grow.

Will this be the right person?

How do I know that this will be the right person? This isn't a straightforward question to answer.

It might be something you've read in their profile, something about how they present themselves or simply a feeling that develops as you learn a little more about them.

The next step is often to arrange an initial consultation. It's an opportunity to hear their voice, meet them if you're working online, ask questions and talk about what you're hoping to gain from counselling.

Your prospective counsellor should be able to explain whether the support you're looking for is something they can offer. If not, they may suggest another service, recommend a different approach or help you narrow your search.

After that first conversation, you may find yourself thinking: "I feel I can have another session with this person." "I feel like I could open up with this person." There are never any guarantees. Like any relationship, trust develops over time.

Counselling can be transformational. It can also be emotional, challenging and difficult. Finding someone you feel comfortable with may be the beginning of something important. Sometimes the hardest step is simply deciding to reach out.

If you're considering counselling, you may find it helpful to arrange an informal initial conversation with a therapist. It's an opportunity to ask questions, talk about what you're hoping for and decide whether working together feels right. If they don't feel they're the right therapist for your needs, they may suggest another service, recommend a different approach, or help point you in the right direction.