Ghosting in the therapy space

I wanted to talk a little about the term 'ghosting' and how it's creeping into the therapy space.

What is ghosting? 

'Ghosting' is a modern term for ceasing contact with someone, typically unexpectedly and with no explanation. It typically happens less in face-to-face interactions than in the online therapy sphere and typically less in private practice than on online therapy platforms, but it is creeping into the therapy space.

There are many reasons why someone might engage in this behaviour, and we should be mindful of this. However, a few things may be going on for the therapist in this dynamic to which may include worry or concern for your welfare. Depending on the context of the sessions, this may require them to contact emergency services to do a welfare check on you. Yes, it is as serious as that, the emergency services knocking on your door to see if you are, to put it bluntly, alive and well.

This can happen when a therapist is let to interpret the meaning of your disengagement, balance this with the session content and work within the all-important ethical guidelines. At the end of the day, you cannot put a price on client safety and the life of another person. 

Now that it is established just how far this can escalate, how then can we solve this issue?

Simply... communication.

Communication is a skill which we have to learn, and we don't always get it right and even 'ghosting' is a communication of sorts. Essentially, if we do not want to engage in therapy for whatever reason, then that is our right and choice. We do, however, have another choice: whether to tell our therapist or not. With the above outline of what can happen if we don't, it may be prudent to tell our therapist that we don't before it escalates. We can go into the reasons why we no longer want therapy or not, but a simple communication could be all the difference to all involved.

If 'ghosting' is a form of communication for you, then this may be what is known in some circles as your 'growing edge', which is roughly translated as where the work is for you. Essentially, the work for you may be in not ghosting when things get difficult and learning how to be present in the room, or it may be in communicating with your therapist instead of 'ghosting', or it may be all of the above.

The online therapy platforms also have a part to play in this, they have the function to just drop your therapist or switch to another therapist at the click of a button. Lending itself to leaning towards this over having difficult conversations.

Your therapist can help you become an effective communicator; they can also help you connect with yourself in parallel to connecting with others, but they can't do any of this if you don't communicate with them. They need input from you, even on things that may not be going so well for you in the therapy space. If we do not know about it, we cannot address it.

Communication is everything, both inside the therapy space and outside it.

Reach out to a professional to explore your communication style.