3 ways to navigate hair loss as a man under 35

Navigating the early stages of hair loss, as a man under 35, can feel like one of the most unsettling, devastating things you’ve ever been through. To some, that might sound a bit dramatic, but it’s not. That’s how it can feel.

All your emotions are valid

When you first start to notice you’re losing your hair, it’s extremely common and understandable to feel a deep sense of panic and worry. Your hair might feel like a big part of your identity, and as a man under 35, you’re likely navigating a lot as it is. Perhaps you’re dealing with some of the following:

• A relationship that’s breaking down.
• Feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted by a job that you’re pouring all of yourself into.
• A sense of loneliness that feels hard and upsetting to admit. 
• Feeling a bit emotionally numb or detached from things you used to find joy in.
• Navigating a hidden disability or health condition.

I could write a much longer list, but what I’m hoping to convey is that you’re likely already carrying a lot right now. So, starting to notice that you’re losing your hair can feel totally blindsiding. As men, suppressing or avoiding emotional vulnerability might feel like a default setting, so being honest about our anxiety and insecurities might feel really difficult.

Perhaps a first step could be to remind yourself that while these emotions are unsettling, they’re totally understandable and valid. And we don’t have to bury or deny them like they’re a terrible secret.

3 reasons why hair loss is magnified for men under 35

The rise of harmful beauty standards also applies to men

Advertising is thrown at us constantly. On the train/tube, while we browse for a new hoover, while we scroll through TikTok, while we catch up on our favourite YouTube channel.

For the longest time, women have borne the brunt of harmful or unrealistic beauty standards. But it’s hard not to notice how men are also forced to navigate unfair beauty standards. The perfect beard, the whitest teeth, the perfect hairline, the most sculpted physique. This endless barrage of harmful beauty standards and advertising can make losing your hair feel even more confronting and devastating.

Feeling under-represented within your friendship group and workplace circles

While I’ve not got a stat to back this up, there are so many men under 35 who are navigating hair loss. You’re absolutely not alone in this.

But it’s likely that within your immediate circles, you’re in the minority. And possibly the only man that’s facing hair loss. This can add to the feeling of isolation and inadequacy - that you’re perhaps inferior in some kind of way. And it can lead to all kinds of thoughts, such as “I won’t be able to find a partner”. 

“Banter” culture in male spaces

One the biggest reasons men can struggle with emotional vulnerability is the fear of being invalidated or misunderstood. So when men who aren’t losing their hair make hurtful comments framed as banter, it might leave you feeling hurt. To them, it might seem harmless, but their words validate your biggest concern. That people will notice, say something and that you’ll feel deeply wounded. And as a man who already struggles to talk about emotions, you might hide how those words made you feel. 

3 things that might help you navigate the emotions caused by hair loss

Peer support and community 

Finding other men who can relate to you can alleviate some of the isolation you might be feeling. Friends, family members or colleagues might offer you varying degrees of understanding and reassurance, but men who’ve been where you are will know exactly what you’re going through. 

There are some incredible online communities for men navigating hair loss. One that I’m aware of is Baldcafe, run by Harry James (@baldcafe on Instagram and YouTube). Harry has created a community that shares the stories and experiences of men (often under 35) who are coming to terms with losing their hair.

Counselling

As a counsellor, of course I’d say counselling can be helpful. But I really do believe in it. What counselling can offer you is a warm, safe space to be honest about your fears and emotions, without judgement or ridicule. It can help you say what might currently feel hard to say to others. And, in turn, it might start to feel easier to be honest with those closest to you.

Counselling can also help you to understand yourself on a deeper level. It can help you to navigate the other parts of your life that might feel troubling. Whether that’s:

• your self-esteem
• stress and exhaustion (from work or relationship conflict)
• loneliness and craving more connection
• processing difficult childhood experiences 
• feeling numb or emotionally detached 
• or perhaps something else.

Reflective journaling 

If you’ve never tried journaling before, it might sound a bit wishy-washy. You might doubt how much it can actually help. But what journaling can offer you, like counselling, is a private and safe way of expressing what feels true for you, without fear of judgement. You can be as honest as you need to be because your journal is private. 

Life can sometimes feel hectic and perhaps even chaotic. But journaling can offer you a moment of stillness with yourself. It doesn’t have to be long-winded, every day or done with a fancy notebook and you can create your own routine. 

• Maybe you could try once a week or once a fortnight - in a coffee shop or a different location you find peaceful. 
• You could handwrite your journal, type it up or even just speak out loud to yourself if that feels easier. 
• You could build it into your routine, perhaps you could journal before or after counselling.

I hope there’s at least one thing that’s resonated with you from this article. But if I may, I’d like to leave you with this:

Whether it’s your feelings of anxiety about hair loss or something else you’re struggling with, all your thoughts, feelings and emotions are valid. And they deserve to be met with understanding and compassion.