Rewriting my script after a deep depression
I was a member of a local church group when things had been a bit strained and I became very stressed. I was struggling at home after my husband had been ill and I was feeling unsupported by people who made out to be friends. I left the church and became very depressed having been stuck in a deep depression, and unable to carry on.
I went to my GP who gave me some tablets as a crutch, and I asked to see a counsellor as I was feeling very rejected by people I believed to be friends. This had brought up a lot of unheard stuff from childhood. Abuse and the deep feelings around that and the loss of my childhood, my feelings about my mother and her ways and being abused by her, upset about her not being there for me and the loss of our relationship.
I was given the number of a private counsellor, who turned out to be the best person for me to have met. She's very understanding and honest and she works in TA counselling. I've been seeing her for around 15 months and it's been a very positive experience - I've learnt so much about myself and I learnt how I can sabotage myself.
I feel I have reached a point were I can say 'I'm well' again and am able to enjoy life and feel happy, even to the point of being able to believe in myself and my worth. My counsellor has helped me to learn skills I didn't have. We have worked on rewriting my script and how there's often more ways to look at a situation, and that often there's a positive and a negative in most. I'm now able to have healthier relationships with healthy boundaries, am also to enjoy my own company when I choose to be alone and not feel lonely. I'm also able to love myself and slow others to love me. I feel I have worked hard it been difficult at times but victory is now mine.