What is Erotic Massage?
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Mary Clegg, Sex and Relationship Psychotherapist
17th June, 2010
The human body has a tremendous capacity to experience pleasure through its five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste and, above all, touch. Heightening these senses to the point of exquisite joy is a playful art which brings a new and deeper level of intimacy between two people in a loving relationship.
What is Erotic Massage?
Erotic Massage is a means through which two people in an intimate relationship touch and stimulate each other, communicate love and tenderness too. Touch and massage, therefore, are the perfect tools for sexual foreplay. It is through the stimulation and stroking of the skin that sexually sensitive nerve receptors throughout the body are set alight. Sigmund Freud described the human body as being wholly erotogenic, and it is. Indeed, it is through the skin that the tactile messages of love, tenderness, and desire are received. By touching, caressing and fondling the skin, the flame of sexual desire is kindled, while at the same time the emotions and the soul are nourished.
Tip: It is important also to be able to give and receive massage without criticism, without expectation and whether you are the receiver or giver to get into your own space to experience the feeling of touching and being touched.
What do I need?
Number one on any list is peace and quiet and no interruptions. Get rid of distractions. The room/s that you use should be warm and comfortable. If you are playing with food or oils make sure that you have a large towel handy to sit or lie on. Mattress protectors can be particularly helpful here. Perhaps you may like fragrance with oil burners and essential oils, candles, or incense sticks. Music too can play an important part so take time to choose something suitable. Turn your room into a haven of seduction and saucyness!
Massage has many benefits
Massage can improve circulation, tone the skin and relax muscles. There is also some evidence that massage releases the bodys own endorphins or opiates and even levels of some hormones are raised through regular massage. Massage is a good way to maintain your "youth". With a partner, massage is a great way to explore and feel close. We all have responses to certain scents. Aromatherapy can evoke positive feelings and emotions. Aromatherapy goes hand in hand with the belief that state of mind can also help with physical problems.
Aromatherapy for eroticism and romance
Smell plays an important part in the enhancement of eroticism. Humans, like animals, are said to give off powerful sexual scents called pheromones from their sweat glands when they are in the mood for sexual activity. These odorous chemicals work subliminally and are believed to affect the behaviour of others without their even being aware of them.
How do I start?
To start with, something simple should be attempted to build confidence and comfort with the process. If you have never done it before you may not know where to start. You know your partner and can choose either feet or hands to begin with. Make a playful, gentle suggestion that you would like to try something new and different and go from there.
Lubricate your fingers with a small amount of (massage) oil. Do not put oil directly onto your partner's skin.
* Start from your partners wrist/ankle, working towards your fingers/toes.
* Follow the contours of each hand/foot with stroking movements with your finger tips lightly.
* Gently, slowly squeeze and stretch the fingers/toes one at a time from the left little finger/toe over to the right little finger/toe with your thumb and first finger.
* Always rub "up" the fingers/toes from the knuckle/joint to the nail.
* Use friction on each of the finger/toe joints both back and front.
* Use your thumb to rub the palm/sole in a circular motion adding a little pressure. As you do this you cup lightly of the hand/foot with the rest of your fingers.
* Finish with light stroking movements from the wrist/ankle to the ends of the fingers/toes with your finger tips as before.
Tip: Remember take your time and move slowly and deliberately. There is a world of difference between a tickle and a massage.
Related articles from our experts
Rivka MennessonOctober 9th, 2017
Annabelle Hird, MBACPOctober 5th, 2017
Jacqueline Karaca M.Sc. Hons Counselling Psych; MBACP Reg.October 3rd, 2017
Andrea Harrn Psychotherapist and Author of The Mood CardsMay 13th, 2011
Imi Lo: Psychotherapist, Art Therapist, Supervisor (MMH,UKCP,HCPC,MBPsS)March 29th, 2015
Keeley Townsend BA (Hons), Ad.Dip.CP with Distinction, MNCS (Acc)December 14th, 2009
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.