How to beat procrastination

Procrastination is something we do when we ‘should’ be doing something else. Why do we procrastinate? And is all procrastination ‘unhealthy’? 

Why do we procrastinate?

First, it might help us to understand exactly what procrastination is. The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as “to keep delaying something that must be done, often because it is unpleasant or boring.” What do we mean when we say something ‘must be done’? 

Many of us, especially when we struggle to identify authentic needs, set unrealistic and rigid rules for ourselves. These often come from the ‘outside’ - usually set up in our childhood, our parents and teachers' expectations of us. We are told what it means to be ‘productive’ (usually involving some sort of suffering for ourselves) and, when we are not acting under these internalised ideas of ‘productivity’ we might label ourselves as ‘lazy’ or say we are ‘wasting time’. 

Unfortunately, this often sets up a vicious cycle. No one likes being told what to do, even (possibly especially) when we are doing it to ourselves! Due to our early conditioning, many of us have a punitive or shaming internal voice, telling ourselves we are ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ when we don’t do certain things. There seems to be a belief in many of us that the ‘stick’ gets better results than the ‘carrot’ so we often choose to beat ourselves up rather than give ourselves gentle encouragement when meeting our goals.

Next time you feel you are in the grips of procrastination, it might help to consider ‘why’ you are doing it. Are you being too hard on yourself? ‘You must clean the kitchen!’ To which you may be, quite understandably, digging in your heels (‘healthy rebellion’ is no bad thing!) Is the goal you’ve set yourself coming from a place of kindness (I want my home to be hygienic) or fear (if I don’t tidy up that means I’m lazy and messy)? If it’s the latter, it’s quite understandable that a part of us resists the task. After all, who likes being dictated to by a tyrant?

How therapy can help

With good therapy, you can learn to re-frame the way you speak to yourself. Most of us develop an internal voice that takes on the thoughts and beliefs of the people in our lives as we are growing up. As it’s so important for us to maintain positive relations with people as children (our survival quite literally depends on it) we often obey these voices without question.

However, as adults, we can begin to examine and possibly change the way we talk to ourselves. Rather than giving ourselves instructions, we can offer suggestions instead. We might also come to understand what we truly want for ourselves. After all, if we are aligned with an authentic goal, would there be any cause for procrastination? If we were engaged with our lives and there was a good reason for the things we did, what would be stopping us from getting on and doing them?

Through therapy, we can become more authentic and aligned with our true purpose. This, alongside a more positive internal voice, is, in my experience, the best way to beat procrastination.