Latest articles on counselling and therapy

Do you often feel that, as a parent, you’re struggling to find a satisfactory balance between providing for the needs of your children and caring for yourself? Does this cause feelings of guilt for you? You’re most definitely not alone! A survey of 2000 mothers by NUK found that 87% felt guilty at some point in relation to their parenting, with 21% reporting that they felt guilty most, or all, of the time. Triggers for guilt included feeling too tired or too busy or too lacking in...

Parenting can be challenging at the very best of times; it’s intense, exhausting, unremitting and you don’t get holidays (well, unless you’re lucky enough to have the grandparents around).  That’s not to say that that parenting is not also exhilarating and extraordinary, spending time with funny, original, strong-willed and creative little people can be enormous fun. Particularly when you’re getting enough sleep and also have a little time for yourself. But...

You knew it was coming. Months of planning went into it. Choosing, visiting, waiting, packing, registering. Leaving. Leaving. Years really. You dig deep to find the best you you can - not too clingy, not too distant. Appropriately helpful without being controlling. Cheery, hopeful, upbeat. All goes well right until the end when you hug your goodbye and it all suddenly gets real. How is this happening? When did he get so tall? So grown up? You feel suddenly small. There’s a warning tug...

During summer holidays, Christmas and many other occasions, we find ourselves with family and friends where at least one person will have written an internal script giving everyone else a part in the drama with an expected outcome. I remember Christmas when I was young and I think my mother wrote scripts every year that went like this:

Husband gives me a romantic gift - perfume, lingerie or jewellery; certainly nothing very practical. Children don't wake up too early and all are delighted...

In my birth family, I was brought up to believe that there was only one way to think; one way to react to something. When, at eleven, I was sent to a school away from my area (not a private school or a boarding school I wish to add), I realised that there were many and varied ways to consider and think about things. At home 'we' all "liked" one aunt or cousin, for instance, and "disliked" another for, it seemed to me, no apparent reason. It was impossible to try and state another point of view...

When I was growing up I had two friends - I'll call them John and Paul. While my family life had boundaries and structure, both John and Paul's seemed free and casual; they could come and go as they wanted, and they never had to be home by a certain time in the long summer evenings.But I also recall both boys skipped school a lot, wore clothes that hadn't been washed, and often made a point of saying how much they'd eaten at home when, in fact, they frequently appeared hungry. Both had...

It's that time again where the school summer term ends. Our young people have probably worked hard to harness great exam results with a view to attending a sixth form or university. Our younger adolescents, those who are 11, are about to embark on secondary school. Perhaps you were scared at the time? These endings are challenging for parents/carers and our young people. For parents, it could include feelings of being trapped, being good enough, spending, spending and spending again on new...

Counsellor Lorna Slade has extensive experience in working with adult children of narcissist parents. We asked her to explain what impact narcissism has for these children and also what a parent can do if they suspect their child is showing signs of narcissism.

‘I was a good girl but I used to lie awake at night listening to her running me down to my father, who said nothing. I concluded that I wasn’t safe and might one day be homeless.’ Not a sign of a happy child – now a client of mine...

Counselling Directory member, Paula Coles, provides five tips to prevent us passing stress onto our kids. The impact of parental stress on children is a topic that is well-researched by academics. But, when it comes to the practicalities and the impacts, do we, as parents, know the effects our stress is having on our children?

As parents, we can often face the burden of expected happiness. Many parents feel obliged to showcase social media showreels of their ‘joyous’ parenting, but it’s...