Latest articles on counselling and therapy

Where are we with technology, phones, communication, empathy and, something I feel passionately about, attunement? What got me thinking about this was a recent rare motorway journey, watching how common it is now for families to sit together at service stations with everyone looking at screens or with headphones on. The conversation will almost inevitably continue, but the technology is now somehow 'blended' with the chat. Attunement Let's start with that last word of the first sentence -...

Relationships require work; they are not all sunshine and roses. There will be bumps in the road within every relationship and with these hurdles come moments for you both to grow as individuals and develop the relationship. Without this, the relationship would remain juvenile and never become something that could last. Some issues can seem impossible to overcome, but couples counselling can create a safe environment where you are both encouraged to share sensitive information and reveal your...

Do you often feel that, as a parent, you’re struggling to find a satisfactory balance between providing for the needs of your children and caring for yourself? Does this cause feelings of guilt for you? You’re most definitely not alone! A survey of 2000 mothers by NUK found that 87% felt guilty at some point in relation to their parenting, with 21% reporting that they felt guilty most, or all, of the time. Triggers for guilt included feeling too tired or too busy or too lacking in...

Parenting can be challenging at the very best of times; it’s intense, exhausting, unremitting and you don’t get holidays (well, unless you’re lucky enough to have the grandparents around).  That’s not to say that that parenting is not also exhilarating and extraordinary, spending time with funny, original, strong-willed and creative little people can be enormous fun. Particularly when you’re getting enough sleep and also have a little time for yourself. But...

During summer holidays, Christmas and many other occasions, we find ourselves with family and friends where at least one person will have written an internal script giving everyone else a part in the drama with an expected outcome. I remember Christmas when I was young and I think my mother wrote scripts every year that went like this:

Husband gives me a romantic gift - perfume, lingerie or jewellery; certainly nothing very practical. Children don't wake up too early and all are delighted...

In my birth family, I was brought up to believe that there was only one way to think; one way to react to something. When, at eleven, I was sent to a school away from my area (not a private school or a boarding school I wish to add), I realised that there were many and varied ways to consider and think about things. At home 'we' all "liked" one aunt or cousin, for instance, and "disliked" another for, it seemed to me, no apparent reason. It was impossible to try and state another point of view...

When I was growing up I had two friends - I'll call them John and Paul. While my family life had boundaries and structure, both John and Paul's seemed free and casual; they could come and go as they wanted, and they never had to be home by a certain time in the long summer evenings.But I also recall both boys skipped school a lot, wore clothes that hadn't been washed, and often made a point of saying how much they'd eaten at home when, in fact, they frequently appeared hungry. Both had...

It's that time again where the school summer term ends. Our young people have probably worked hard to harness great exam results with a view to attending a sixth form or university. Our younger adolescents, those who are 11, are about to embark on secondary school. Perhaps you were scared at the time? These endings are challenging for parents/carers and our young people. For parents, it could include feelings of being trapped, being good enough, spending, spending and spending again on new...