Latest articles on counselling and therapy

I just want to briefly give an analogy of the cycle of conflict. Sometimes the fear of detachment or conflict throws people into an absolute panic. The distance, emotional unavailability or conflict may be triggering something emotional, which could be the need:

to feel valued loved worthy safe acceptable

During conflict panic, any silence, emotional distance or argument feels unbearable. The urge is to resolve it as soon as possible and get closer. The silences have to be filled,...

One of the most common things I get asked is for tips and tools to deal with anxiety on a day to day basis. These are not long-term solutions as they will not help you explore your anxiety and work out what your triggers are, but they are short-term tools that may help when having a panic attack or when feeling particularly anxious. Not all methods work for everyone so it is best to try out a few things to find out what works best for you. It is also important to remember that many tips to help...

I believe that anxiety is not a condition per se, as none of us were born with it. We, however, might have become conditioned by certain life experiences, to which our body and mind started reacting with anxiety and panic as a form of defence mechanism against experiencing a trauma. This is just my subjective, biased by an empirical experience opinion, and I am aware that there are cases of anxiety related to physical dysfunctions or illnesses. Nevertheless, I decided to share my experience of...

Fear… we all feel it. A sudden startle in response to a perceived threat, a shortness of breath and chest constriction as your heart quickens pace. An unshakeable feeling of dread, then excessive worrying triggered by an unstoppable train of thoughts. Or occasionally, even a full-blown panic attack. Fear is the biology of survival. It’s the primitive brain’s internal alarm system - alerting us to danger and triggering a ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ response. While...

Feeling anxiety is what we feel when we are worried, nervous, on edge, or afraid about things that may happen now or in the future. People usually experience feelings of worry or fear before confronting challenging situations such as sitting an exam or interview, and these feelings are perfectly normal. It can be experienced through your feelings, in your thoughts or physically. Research shows that anxiety is the root cause of fear. The causes of anxiety can range from environmental factors,...

Most people have felt anxious at some point during their lifetime. For some, anxiety can be a new feeling, and for others it is something they have experienced since they were very young. Occasionally, anxiety can become acute and debilitating, impacting how a person functions in their everyday life. Some people find that the best treatment for anxiety is medication, and this is something that can be discussed further with a medical professional. However, there are some things that you can do...

It's normal to feel anxious sometimes, but if you are having a panic attack, you will experience severe levels of anxiety. You may think this means you are having a heart attack, are about to collapse or even die, or think that you’re going mad or completely losing control. During a panic attack, you may feel shortness of breath, tingling sensations, stomach discomfort, a sense of impending doom, trembling, light-headedness, choking sensations, chest tightness pressure or even pain and...

As an analytical psychotherapist, I encounter quite a few people who struggle with panic attacks. What becomes clear pretty quickly is that some of these individuals tend to be very, very angry. However, they are not aware of their anger, and what transpires later is that they are also very frightened by their anger. It seems that they have not been able to differentiate their own angry thoughts from actions, so they are afraid that if they allow themselves to become aware of their anger, and...

Grounding techniques Practising regular grounding exercises can help you feel more secure, stable and connected to yourself, especially after a period of anxiety or dissociation. These exercises can also be used to overcome panic attacks and feelings of detachment in depression. They include learning to keep your feet anchored to the floor, finding your centre of gravity, adopting an upright posture and standing still with your legs apart. As well as practising how to move with a fluid, steady...