Latest articles on counselling and therapy

As professionals, we all remember the Bowlby Attachment Theory (The British Journal of Psychiatry, 1977 - cambridge.org) talks about the importance of positive attachment in early childhood. However, it is worth revisiting this when working with children who have suffered some type of trauma, particularly when working with forms of exploitation. 2400 children were victims of CSE between August 2010 and October 2011. Source: Berelowitz, S. et al (2012)When working within the field of...

Depression can often be a consequence of unresolved, repressed or forgotten feelings resulting from experiences of loss, trauma, crisis and conflict; such as unresolved grief. The depressive state can also occur due to a sense of meaninglessness and lack of purpose in one’s life, affecting the individual on an emotional, spiritual and relational level. The experience of depression can be described as a state of profound sadness, alternating with numbness, which...

Fear… we all feel it. A sudden startle in response to a perceived threat, a shortness of breath and chest constriction as your heart quickens pace. An unshakeable feeling of dread, then excessive worrying triggered by an unstoppable train of thoughts. Or occasionally, even a full-blown panic attack. Fear is the biology of survival. It’s the primitive brain’s internal alarm system - alerting us to danger and triggering a ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ response. While...

The festive season is supposed to be joyful and relaxing, but for many it is the opposite. The various celebrations as the year draws to a close can be a time of chronic stress and a never-ending to-do lists; physical illness, general malaise associated with the seemingly never-ending darkness, or revisited psychological trauma such as painful memories or emotions associated with family or Christmas. Add to this the physical and mental toil as the days and weeks fly past driving to work in the...

Most of us will have experienced the heartbreaking moment when we say goodbye to a beloved pet. Pets play a huge part in our lifestyle, our family dynamics and our emotional state. And, when we lose one, under any circumstances, the loss can be felt for many years.

Losing a pet in a breakup is particularly harrowing as you’re currently dealing with the grief of a relationship breakdown, and trying to come to terms with the loss of your pet, who hasn’t actually passed on.

Written from...

Arguably three of the most important relationships in your life, securing trust in romantic, parental and friendship relationships is key to a harmonic existence together. Trust is an essential foundation in a relationship, enabling strong communication and a support system to flourish.

But when a key player in the relationship is suffering with trust issues, communication breakdowns can occur, frustrations can arise, a so-called elephant in the room can appear and the feelings of...

There are many different types of trauma. Some are a one off incident such as vehicle accidents, others are repeated trauma's such as war or domestic violence. Trauma is a threat to life experience, so at the point of trauma the brain goes into a survival mode. This means:

A release of energy boosting neurochemicals, adrenalin and cortisol. Digestion stops. Muscles are more efficient, in order to run away. Attention is really focussed or in some cases completely blank. Memory is stored...

Dealing with chronic shameI believe shame is at the heart of many presenting issues clients bring to therapy, whether it be anxiety, depression, trouble at work, or in personal relationships. In this article I define what shame is and how, with supportive therapy, clients can overcome shame on their way to emotional well-being.What is shame?The word shame’s origins are in meaning to 'hide' or 'cover up'. Shame is about a debasing or humiliating sense of loss from loving connection, a need...

I work with stories, stories that are often dark and despairing as they understandably would be in the aftermath of violence. Yet I know through my work that it is in the telling that we heal. Trauma following violence disrupts everything. All is fragmented in its aftermath and we are left with pieces of our past life that no longer make sense. The past is so far removed from the present and it stops us from seeing a future.  Sometimes it can stop us from living, wanting to live, wanting...