Lou Futcher

Hi ​I'm Lou, an MNCPS Accredited therapist offering long and short term counselling/psychotherapy online via Zoom and in person in central London. I’ve been working with clients for 14 years and have recently turned 50. I work with individual adult clients to develop/maintain a healthy and mindful Self relationship through self knowledge and awareness, and mindfulness. This is especially useful for those navigating midlife and menopause, and for neurodivergent people. 

Living mindfully: Being present, living proactively rather than reactively, being intentional in our actions and focus, maintaining the mind-body connection, being attuned to our surroundings, and not judging our Self or our thoughts. It’s a way of living which ensures that our actions are informed primarily by our self knowledge, desires, experience, and needs, rather than overwhelm, obligation, or fear. 

Midlife is generally regarded to be around age 40 to 65 and is particularly significant for women, as it’s when most of us will experience peri/menopause and it’s often a period of change: in our bodies, emotions, and cognition, and also possibly when our roles shift - we might want to change careers, relationships might feel like they’re ending, adult children might be leaving home or we might have recently become parents. Whatever our individual situation, it’s inevitably a time of transition which can be experienced as a lot of painful endings, but also actually offer new opportunities to live a calmer, more regulated, more connected, creative and expressive life. It can force us to pause and consider: is my life working for me? Does my lifestyle fulfil my needs? Does what I’m expressing in the world reflect my inner world, values, passions? 

Therapy is for much more than healing, reflection, developing coping strategies and resilience, deepening self awareness, and all that good stuff. It’s also about grieving and expressing rage, fear and resentment, analysing our failures and successes, and reconnecting with our Self. What I’ve observed in many women in Midlife is that we often struggle with self doubt, difficulty in acknowledging our own needs, and living reactively rather than proactively. In turn this leads to us living too small: our identity revolves around our job or other roles, we struggle with creativity and expression, we hope that things will feel better in ‘the future’: we abandon our Self for others, or for some future Self, promised to us if we will only de-centre ourself while we work hard, build a home, build a relationship, a family, take on caring responsibilities. 

Sometimes there’s a series of painful realisations such as realising that our romantic relationship isn’t sustainable and we need to move on, that our career doesn’t fulfil us and maybe we’re even being exploited, that we’ve lost touch with most of our friends or don’t have any close friends, that we don’t really know who we are outside of our obligations or other people’s ideas of us, or maybe that we’re neurodivergent, or not straight or cis. Surviving rather than thriving, just coping. We lose connection to our Self, which can be a very lonely place. Lots of us feel deceived by the promises of a fulfilled ideal life when we arrive at Midlife - burned out, stressed out, disillusioned and deeply sad. I believe that Midlife presents us with the opportunity to pause and reflect, regroup, re-establish a strong and deep connection to our Self - our needs, ethics, aims, identities, passions - to fully inhabit ourselves whilst living in as much of a mindful, proactive way as possible. 

So a major focus of this work is re-establishing - or for some establishing for the first time - a strong, deep, healthy connection to our Self. A Self love rooted in self knowledge, acceptance, belief that we deserve good things, awareness of our strengths and challenges, a solid foundation of good self care, and respect for our life experience. A Self that is open for connection to others, that isn’t rooted in guilt and shame, that has a kind and encouraging internal voice, that wants to create and express, love and be loved in all senses. A Self that perhaps wants to try the things we always dreamed of but never got round to due to too many other obligations or out of fear. 

Let’s talk about it. I hold a dynamic, open-minded, compassionate space in which you can express it all: hope, fear, despair, excitement, resentment, celebration, mourning, fantasising, imagining - anything. Through listening, reflection, challenge, suggestion, providing insight and different perspectives, I will facilitate your exploration of what you want and what you don’t, who you are and what you need, and how to make changes. It’s a space of active discussion, including questions, wonderings, sometimes suggesting practical measures and exercises, with your agreement. I will not judge who you are or how you got here, I am only interested in your story so far and help you figure out where it goes next. 

I welcome all experiences and identities, including trans men and non-binary folk. Like many of us, perimenopause brought the realisation that I’m neurodivergent and I was diagnosed with ADHD at 48. The majority of my clients over my 14-year therapy career have been neurodivergent and so I am able to adapt the work for ND minds and each individual’s needs, such as working with each person’s processing speed, explaining why I’m asking certain questions, resisting pathologisation of certain behaviours, etc. 

Apart from matters directly linked to Midlife and menopause there’s also space to talk about anything else such as childhood experiences, family issues, sex and sexuality, body image, issues around trust, unhealthy attachment, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, poor self esteem, etc. I have lots of experience working with LGBTQ+, alternative relationship styles and sexualities including kink and nonmonogamy, chronic illness, gender transition, GLP-1s, medical misogyny, being a minority in the workplace or educational setting. We need to process and begin to heal from our experiences before we can fully implement the changes we desire. 

Our work can also include elements of psychoeducation to provide knowledge and tools, and help with improving communication skills to enable clearer, more confident communication which incorporate solid self advocacy and strong boundaries. 

My new website and IG Mindful Midlife Therapy will be up shortly, in the meantime go to louisefutchertherapy.co.uk or do feel free to contact me here or via email should you be interested in working together. I’m very happy to answer any questions, and offer a 20-minute phone or video call free of charge and obligation so that I can introduce myself and we can have a conversation about my work. 

Body image and GLP-1 use, narcissistic/emotionally immature parents, Midlife, Childfree, eldest daughters, older women, single by choice, Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

You can find an explanation of my fees on my website, but generally online daytime (9-4pm) slots are at the lower end of the scale and in-person and early or evening slots are generally towards the upper end. Fees are also based on individual financial circumstances. 

Although I offer concessionary fees, all of my concessionary slots are currently taken and I do not operate a waiting list for these slots. Only full-fee slots at the above scale are available.

I offer in-person sessions in an air-conditioned room with comfortable supportive chairs and a view to the rear courtyard and urban landscape, away from street noise. The room is located on the first floor of a discreet dedicated building of therapy rooms, conveniently situated on the borders of the City, Islington, Shoreditch, and Clerkenwell, closest tube Old Street, and close to St Luke’s Garden for quiet contemplation before or after sessions. The room is only accessible by a short flight of stairs.

I currently offer in-person sessions on Thursday afternoon and evening, and work online via Zoom on various days, subject to availability. I do currently have some availability and am taking on new clients. 

My work always acknowledges the context of capitalism, patriarchy, white supremacy, heteronormativity, ableism, neuronormativity, and the class system, and is always anti-fascist, anti-racist, pro-queer, neuro-affirming, and class and immigrant inclusive. I am a white British, queer, neurodivergent, chronically ill person of working-class origins.